Motivation
by seg92
Summary: Have you ever wondered if there was a deeper reason to why Jamie joined the family business that he kept a secret? This story explores what could have happened while Jamie was away at Harvard that caused him to change his career.
1. Chapter 1

Motivation

Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods only my own ideas.

A/N: Hello and welcome to Motivation. This story is AU and starting off while Jamie is still attending Harvard University. Also in this story Joe is alive and well. The main focus is going to be on Jamie and the family. I hope you guys enjoy the story.

Chapter 1

Danny and Joe were standing outside Jamie's apartment door in Boston Massachusetts. The two brothers were leery to knock because it had been over two months since the last time they spoke with their brother. Jamie stayed in touch through monthly emails mostly and short almost recorded voice mails at odd hours when no one would answer the phone. When any member of the family would try to call the phone would always ring twice and go to a prerecorded message that said, "The person you are trying to reach has a voice mail that is full or has not been set up yet." The whole family was worried for communications compared to before rarely came. Everyone at first wondered what they did to upset Jamie. This fear quickly turned to is something wrong? Frank Reagan was so worried, he asked his two son's Danny and Joe to visit when the monthly email did not arrive.

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Inside the apartment, Jamie was getting a blue tie he forgot to pack, for a day he looked forward to and dreaded. For today everything ended, and Jamie could move on with his life knowing this was in the past. While searching for the tie, Jamie let his thought wander to his family. Jamie could not deny; he shut his family out besides short messages monthly so they knew he was "okay". "But really what was the meaning of that word?" In his head, Jamie could hear his older brother Danny upon seeing him saying with glee," Look the kid has finally decided to grace us with his presence." As he pulled Jamie into a hug. Jamie could also see the looks of joy on everyone's faces as if they were in his apartment. Jamie's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. After a few seconds Jamie regained his bearings, and headed towards the door, however before he got to the door he heard a voice say, "Let's try the campus."

Jamie continued with what he was doing and decided to ignore the knock for no one knew he was here. In fact he wasn't even supposed to be here. Although Jamie did have to admit the voice sounded oddly familiar. A few seconds later, Jamie found what he needed and left; a few minutes later, his brothers arrived back at the apartment realizing it would be easier to wait then search the campus. As they parked the car Jamie walked into the courthouse and was greeted by a voice, "How are you?"

"I am fine I just want this over with."

"If you say so, I do have to say you're looking better, but not like yourself yet. You sure you're up for this?" After a pause the man said," Who am I kidding I could never keep you away, we are over here" All the while Jamie was thinking, "I may look better but I have a ways to go." Everything in court took longer and was more draining than he thought possible. When it was all over, Jamie gladly walked out of the courthouse for this was a time he was glad not to be a lawyer. Before Jamie had a chance to reach his room he heard a voice say, "Jamie man is that you?" Jamie immediately turned around all the while trying to hide the fear on his face and the instinct to jump. Although he inwardly thought, "Man what is wrong with me that is clearly Spencer. Why do I have to jump almost five feet in the air whenever someone says my name?" Although all his friend Spencer Croft said with a sad smile was, "Want to go get a coffee?"

"Sure" Jamie replied as they walked into a coffee shop. After both had ordered a beverage and sat Spencer said, "The cross was harder than you thought I take it."

Jamie just rolled his eyes for nothing got past his friend, "Yeah but finally a full week later and the trial is almost over. Hopefully tomorrow I can move back home." Jamie replied, as he undid his necktie and took off his suit jacket. The conversation continued on for a few hours covering anything and everything.

"**********************************************************************************************************************************"

Meanwhile at Jamie's apartment Danny and Joe had given up waiting in the hall when they heard a neighbor say to another neighbor, "Those men have been here all day I think they might be casing the place. If they don't leave soon I am calling the police." So instead they were now sitting in Danny's black Jeep with the windows down in a parking spot perpendicular with the apartment's entrance. After a few minutes of sitting in the car Danny said, "I can't believe it we are here to visit Jamie and we land on a stake out." As Danny said this he started to laugh at the irony of the whole situation. Then in a serious tone, "Joe where is he? Jamie should have been back by now?"

"Danny he did not know we were coming, it's possible he is in class."

"True but that's his own fault and it's getting late."

"Okay maybe he's not in class, he could be at one of the countless libraries."

"Maybe, but I am starving."

"Well what do you want to do call it a night?"

"How about we go get some food, then come back and see if he is home."

"Alright but no fast food" Joe said as Danny started the car.

"Oh fine." Danny replied with a knowing smirk.

"**********************************************************************************************************************************"

"Jamie and Spencer were leaving the coffee shop when a friend of Spencer's came over. Spencer greeted him with a high five and said, "Hey what's up?"

"Not much just going to play basketball with some friends want to come?"  
"Spencer you should go." Jamie replied thinking he wasn't invited.

"I was hoping you would come to." Spencer's friends replied.

"Alright sounds fun I will be there I just have to change first." Jamie replied with a thousand watt smile.

The game was a blast, in fact Jamie could not remember having this much fun in what felt like forever. During the game Spencer at first was worried for Jamie although he looked more like himself again and less like that fragile boy he saw just over two months ago, so Spencer let his worries ease away out of his mind for now. The game had so many players it was like playing an actual basketball game. Everyone took breaks and no one even noticed Jamie took more than everyone else. Spencer and their friends did not realize just how late it was until they were leaving the gym they saw the street lights on, a black cloudless sky and a full moon. As everyone was heading home someone said, "I am starving want to go get some food?"

At the mention of food Jamie thought," I could go for a burger with fries and a milkshake." The dinner was interesting and fun. As Jamie and his friends left they saw the quitter streets of Boston. Someone asked," What time is it?"

"Oh man 12 o'clock."

"I got to go see you guys around." Jamie and his friend Spencer replied simultaneously as they walked away.

Once out of earshot Spencer asked, "No word yet?" as he could see Jamie staring at his phone for the first time since the café with a shocked look.

"Yeah I guess they are still debating so much for this being over." Jamie said in a disappointed tone.

"Hey what you have to remember is that none of this is your fault and sooner or later they will lock him up and if not you are still Jamison Reagan and I have faith you will move on to great things." Spencer replied as he pulled Jamie into a manly half hug.

"I know I just wish that this was already over."

"I understand but hang in there. Hey did you tell your family?"

"No" Jamie flatly replied. As he moved out of the hug.

"Jamie they are your family they would.."

Before Spencer could finish Jamie said," Support me, have my back, I know the drill I just do not want them to know."

"Jamie how is that even possible it is a public case you were..."

"Only here no other state has easy access and this won't follow me."  
"Of course it won't, Jamie I may not be in law school but I do know you did nothing wrong. But still there is the media"

"I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I have to go. See you tomorrow? "

"Yeah sure." Spencer was worried that his friend was in denial, but understood that Jamie had to deal with this on his own. But he could not help it that his best friend felt like his brother.

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A few minutes later Jamie arrived at his hotel room and was so mentally and physically exhausted that he totally forgot about the familiar voice and crashed. Jamie however like many nights had fitful sleep and was awoken by his phone at 8:30 A.M. "Reagan"

"Mr. Reagan court will reconvene at nine thirty."

"Okay thanks." Jamie replied in a sleepy voice. After hanging up the phone Jamie looked at a clock and saw the time read 8:36 realizing he had under an hour to get ready and to the courthouse Jamie rushed into the bathroom. In less than fifteen minutes he was on his way to the courthouse.

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Danny and Joe were rolling up outside of Jamie's apartment building hoping to catch their brother for worry was growing since Jamie had not returned and their calls went straight to the prerecorded message. After parking the car Danny and Joe headed into the building to go and knock. When there was still no response they headed back out to the car. Just as they sat down Joe's cellphone rang.

"Hello"  
"How is everything going?"

"Not great, hold on I'm going to put you on speaker."

"What's wrong?"

"Dad we made it here late Monday. But we haven't seen Jamie."

"We are on a stake out." Danny butted in.  
"I see well that is odd, I say give him till tonight if you still don't hear from him go file a missing persons report enough is enough."

"Alright talk to you soon." Joe replied as he hung up and got comfortable, for he felt like today would be another long day.

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Meanwhile at the courthouse, Jamie was stunned he got the outcome he was expecting for the man got six years parole in three. However Jamie also got a good dose of the unexpected for although unusual the judge forced the convicted on top of his jail stay to pay Jamison Reagan quadruple the cost of the accumulated hospital bills in order to cover any future complications. Jamie was so stunned he did not hear the commotion as the convicted broke free the only thing that momentarily brought Jamie to his senses was the pain he felt as his head impacted with the floor but then everything went black.

While Jamie lay unconscious, the judge was shouting for order as two bailiffs restrained the convicted and another two went to Jamie, once the convicted was restrained another bailiff helped out. The judge spoke over the loud noise and said, "Call a bus."

A bailiff replied," On its way."

"Courts still in session. Your punishment is still the same amount of time but now you will pay all of the medical bills until Mr. Reagan is cleared for a year by a doctor of his choosing also the defendant will pay an additional two million dollars to Jamison Reagan on the after tax basis. Bailiff please take this man into custody. Court is adjourned. "As the gavel came down the medics arrived. After a few seconds Jamie was wheeled out of the courthouse and rushed to the hospital. Upon arrival at the hospital the doctors immediately examined him. Seeing his breathing was slow they placed him on oxygen. Upon not seeing any problem in the x-rays the lead doctor decided to see if he woke up on his own. While Jamie was unconscious he was stitched up. While the doctor went to speak with the family. He was surprised to see two cops and a lawyer step forward with genuine concern for the man. Upon learning the man had no family in town the doctor told them what he knew then left. Seeing Jamie was waking up the doctor gently coxed him back to consciousness after some tests were completed Jamie asked, "When can I leave?"

"We would like to keep you here for observation at least for a bit however when you get out you will still have to take it easy and rest. You have visitors if you're up for it." After Jamie nodded he went and retrieved the visitors. After a brief visit everyone left so Jamie could rest. Jamie was woken up every hour. The first few hours went smoothly and the doctor was pleased with the results however while a nurse was walking outside of Jamie's room she heard the sound of the patient heaving. As she entered it looked like he had the nausea under control and was fine but then when he spoke he sounded confused. The nurse immediately told a passing nurse to call the doctor. At this Jamie said, "Don't I am fine." The nurse was not convinced "Were just going to have the doctor make sure" the nurse said as she checked his vitals. Jamie knew that he wasn't going to win the battle and fell asleep. He fell asleep so fast at first the nurse thought he might have gone unconscious but the light snores relieved those fears.

When the doctor arrived a minute later he was worried for Jamie looked unconscious so he decided to shake Jamie's shoulder. The doctor was a little worried when Jamie did not stir so he pulled out a pen light and started to check his pupils after a few seconds Jamie woke up. The doctor's relief was short lived. As Jamie started to sit up he fainted. Everyone swung quickly into action examining him again. The doctor ordered more tests. While this was happening Jamie regained consciousness and said, "Seriously I am fine." When the quick test results came back the doctor said,"So far everything looks good"  
"So I am free to go?"

"Although your test results are clear I am still waiting on more results so I am admitting you."

"Well I would like to leave."  
"Jamison, I thought you were intelligent."

"Sir I will rest easier at home, I promise I won't overdue it."  
"How about I rush the last results and if they are clear you can go as long as there is someone to stay with you." The doctor replied knowing that look meant his patients mind was made up.  
"Deal." Jamie replied.

"Alright I will be back when we have the results, but for now rest."

An hour later the doctor returned "Well your results look good so here are the papers." A few minutes later Jamie was back in his suit and sitting in a cab on his way home with a follow-up. The cab ride seemed like it went by slow however they made great time and he was home in a matter of minutes. Jamie headed straight for the shower. As he was getting out of the shower his phone rang, "Hello"

"Hey it's Spencer I am running late I will be there in an hour."

"Alright and thanks again."  
"Don't mention it." Spencer replied then hung up.

After hanging up the phone Jamie knew it was too early to go to bed so he put away everything from the hospital and what was dropped off from the hotel. After a few minutes his body could not take being awake any longer so he decided to take a nap so he set an alarm for an hour. As Jamie started drifting off he was awoken by a loud knock. Jamie for a moment was confused but then moved to answer the door. As Jamie looked out the peep hole he was surprised to see his brothers standing there. He opened the door but before he could say anything a large bear hug ensued. Jamie inwardly thought," It's great to see you but I don't want all the questions that are coming." After a few seconds he said," I can't breathe." After the brothers stepped back Jamie said it's great to see you but what's wrong?"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods I only own my own ideas.

A/N: To everyone who has taken the time to read, favorite, follow or review this story thank you. I can not express in words how happy it makes me. I hope you all enjoy this latest chapter.

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Motivation

Chapter 2

Danny and Joe looked at Jamie with frowned eyebrows and the smiles that graced their face's moments before had vanished. Danny found his voice first, "Are you kidding me, what's wrong?" Danny replied no longer in his stupor, now in almost full-fledged anger. "You basically just vanished for three months. I mean come on you didn't call or answer your phone. So kid what is going on?" Jamie knew that the apartment was dark and there was no chance of them being able to make out many facial expressions, but still he found the ground interesting just like when he was young.

A tired Joe could see that Jamie was avoiding eye contact since they arrived. As a result he knew this was getting them nowhere so he spoke up, "What I think Danny is trying to say is, it is great to see you everything is fine back home everyone is just worried about you". Jamie could not help but smile at Joe's statement and when he finally looked up he saw through the dim light his two brothers in jeans and dark blue t-shirts. Noticing the light glow of Jamie's eyes Joe knew he had gained Jamie's attention so he said," Hey Jamie where is the light switch it is so dark in here I might trip and smash face first into something".

Instead of replying Jamie just moved around the dimly lit room and hit the light switch. "Now that's better now we can.." Joe was cut short however because as Jamie turned around the two brothers were greeted by Jamie's face. "Jamie, what happened?" Joe shouted all tiredness in his voice replaced by brotherly concern. As he moved closer to his brother so he could inspect the damage up close.

Jamie immediately started to fidget for he hated the attention. However, immediately grabbed Jamie to hold him still and said," What happened?" while he held a set glare. That Jamie knew from experience, would not be broken until Danny got his answer. However, Jamie could also see the brotherly concern that was evident in his eyes.

"Guys its nothing."

"Nothing? Jamie you were clearly in a fight you have a really bad shiner on your right eye, and wait are those pajamas? Jamie it is not even seven o'clock and you were sleeping what is going on." Danny replied as he took in the appearance of his kid brother dressed in plaid green pajama pants and a long sleeve grey t-shirt with obvious dark circles under his non bruised eye.

"Can we just drop it?" Jamie replied while trying not to reveal anything to his brothers. All the while thinking," Why do they have to be the detectives?"

"No we can't just drop it, Jamie just tell us what is going on. I mean come on, we haven't heard your voice or seen you in over two months, and when we come here to visit you are nowhere to be found. Where were you? Also what do you not eat you look like you lost twenty pounds." Danny finished all worked up as he glares at his brother with his arms crossed across his chest waiting for an answer.

Jamie knew that this was a battle that he was not going to win so he momentarily placed his hands on his head and then crossed his arms in defiance before saying, "Fine, if you must know I got it while playing basketball. Now can we please move on? I haven't seen you guys in like forever" While inwardly Jamie was thinking, "Please let them buy this story and drop it so I don't have to keep lying to them anymore. I know the truth would only upset them and possibly disappoint them."

"We can do that. Do you think you could show your brothers around catch a bite maybe." Joe replied before Danny could interject and shove his foot in his mouth.

"Of course, I just have to call someone to cancel a plan and change but then we can go." Jamie replied with smile and joy evident in his eyes.

"Alright is it okay if we wait in here your neighbors don't really like us." Joe asked with a sheepish grin. As inwardly Joe thought," I just want to look around and make sure the kid is okay. Besides it's not a flat lie his neighbors don't like us."

Joe was relieved when he saw Jamie smile and heard him say," Sure, I'll be right back." As he inwardly thought," Better make it quick, unless I want my brothers destroying this place looking for information like they did before."

Flashback

It was a Friday evening right before Jamie started his summer vacation at the end of junior year of high school and he had been acting "odd" as his brothers had put it the day before. So when he arrived home after his last final for the day and headed up to his room, so he could change out of his school uniform he was too tired to notice that as he was heading up the stairs there was a blur of two people leaving his room. Although, when he entered his room the exhaustion he felt was overcome by furry. For his brothers had had ransacked his bedroom and left him with the aftermath. His pristine room now looked like a disaster zone. The covers were torn off of his bed, all the papers that were on his desk were now on the floor. Additionally, his bed had been moved as evidenced by the set in marks visible in the carpet of where the bed used to be. Finally to make matters worse all of his folded clothes were now accompanying his papers on the floor. Jamie immediately went and pounded on Joe's door and yelled, "Joe open up I know you two are in there." When the door opened Joe dressed in Jeans and a grey t-shirt said with an all knowing grin," Jamie hey what's up?" "Joe are you kidding me right now you guys tore apart my room and you have the guts to ask me what is up. Seriously I know that Danny and you are cops but I never in a million years thought you would disrespect my personal space and search no sorry destroy my room!" Jamie shouted as he stood in front of his brothers still in his dress shirt school tie and khaki pants.

Before Joe had a chance to respond a voice from behind Jamie said, "What is going on up here?" Jamie turned around to see his father with a concerned look on his face thinking that something was horribly wrong.

Danny chose this moment to step forward and try to explain the situation so he said," Dad it's nothing just some sibling discussion."  
"Are you kidding me, a sibling discussion I could hear you guys crystal clear in the kitchen. Seeing that Danny and Joe were not going to say anything he redirected his question to Jaime who sighed and said," they destroyed my room."

Seeing that this was a discussion for his sons to have Frank said, "You two may not live here anymore, but I thought your mother and I raised you to respect each other's privacy and personal space. " Before he walked away.

End Flashback

As soon as the bathroom door closed, Joe and Danny set straight to work looking for clues as to what was going on with their brother. Although, the search was quickly halted since Jamie had his apartment so clean that there was no paperwork anywhere in the apartment and all of his drawers were locked. Danny was about to try to pick one of the locks when he heard the sound of the toilet flushing. Instead, they decided to go sit down on the couch. On their way to the couch they noticed something odd with Jamie's apartment all of the furniture had a dust that was untouched like the place had not been lived in. Danny expressed both of their thoughts by saying, "Why on earth does this place look staged?" "I have no idea. I mean we both know Jamie has always been neat and tidy but all this dust and the locks?" Joe said as he turned around to see the whole apartment noticing the six locks on the door as well." Wait is it just me or is it odd there are so many locks on his door?"

Danny did not have a chance to reply for he heard the bathroom door turning. So the thought was temporarily dropped and both brothers ran to the couch.

"**********************************************************************************************************************************"

In the bathroom, Jamie quickly got dressed. He then turned on the water to make sure the phone call he was going to make would be muffled. Thankfully, Spencer answered on the first ring.

"Jamie everything alright?" Spencer asked in a clearly worried tone.  
"Yeah I am fine, I just wanted to let you know you don't need to come over after all."

"Jamie the doctors said, that you need someone with you I should already be there."  
"I know look I don't have long but I am not alone my brothers decided to surprise me. I will call you when they leave or at least text you."

"Alright" Spencer replied seconds later he heard the line go dead.

Jamie ended the call turned off the water and exited the bathroom. Upon entering the living room he saw his brothers sitting on his couch flipping channels. "So do you want to get food or tour the city first?"  
"I am pretty hungry let go get something to eat." Danny replied.  
"Of course you are." Joe replied with a smile. The familiarity of this conversation caused Jamie to smile and say," Alright there's a great diner I think you will love just a few blocks from here you guys ready to go?" Danny just nodded as Joe pat Jamie's shoulder and said," Lead the way." However, thankfully Jamie was able to control his actions and not jump five feet in the air at the unexpected contact. Although, he knew if he spoke his brothers would know there was more going on. So he just walked out of the apartment with Danny and Joe right behind him only stopping to lock the door. All the while thinking, "Why do I have to be so skittish these are my brothers they would never hurt me, but they will question me all night if they catch on something is going on. Come on Jamie get it together."

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A few minutes later, the three brothers were seated in a corner booth of a fifties style diner. The first way the look was completed was with the classic black and white checkered floor. Another way, the style came together was with the jukebox in the corner. Finally, the look was completed with white tabletops and red colored seats. At the diner and conversation turned to all that had happened in everyone's life. Jamie for a majority of the meal managed to keep all of the attention off of his life and just sat back and listened to stories about the family. However, when Danny said," Oh and the best story of all that I have for you would be the one we actually just wrapped up a few weeks before coming to visit you. "

"Alright, what's the story?" Jamie asked intrigued that the story would most likely be about Danny's kids.  
"Oh I thought you would never ask." Danny replied with a grin.

"So last Monday morning our Sargent sent us out to help Detectives from another precinct on a bust that required our investigative expertise."

"Oh come on now stop bragging and get to the story." Joe replied while inwardly thinking, "if he doesn't start soon this story will be longer than the actual case although at the rate Danny could elaborate it still could be."

"So anyway, the assignment was boring, it was toll jumping you know like all the stories I have told you a hundred times before." After Jamie quietly nodded while inwardly thinking, "Please don't let this story be about murder. I really do like my brother's stories but I do not like to hear about murder."

Danny was about to continue his story when all of a sudden he was cut off by their waitress who said with a smile, "Alright enjoy." As she placed all of the food on the table and then walked away. For a few seconds it was silent as everyone ate. Then after a few mouthfuls of food Danny said," So as I was saying, as we were headed to our car to leave, a young woman came up to us and said," Please help me."

"We immediately asked her what was wrong, she then proceeded to tell us that she had a stalker." At the mention of that word Jamie had to do his best to keep his composure for that word was almost like a knife to his heart. He must not have kept his composure completely because he heard Joe saying," No worries kid this is a good story." After seeing Jamie what Danny took as a nod he continued, " So any ways after speaking with this girl who was only a little older than you we learned her stalker was close by so we looked into the case. Long story short we learned that her stalker was a cute harmless little black Labrador puppy. Upon finding the culprit we returned and said, "We found your stalker but we can't arrest him. At seeing the puzzled look we informed her that her stalker was a dog. The girls face lit up into a huge smile when she saw Joe was holding the puppy. She then informed us that she loved animals and wanted to keep the dog and that its name would be Shadow. The dog's new owner left with Shadow after thanking us for all our help. Now see wasn't that a Good story." Danny said as he dove back into his meal not looking up to make eye contact.

Jamie just looked down and played with his food, lost in his own thoughts. Since the story of the stalker Danny told Jamie reminded him too much of what had happened to him. Jamie calmly stood up from the table and said, "I will be right back." Because he could feel his façade slipping and knew that if he stayed any long his brothers would no longer see the happy go lucky college kid but instead would see a scared and broken brother. Once Jamie had gotten to the bathroom he started to splash cold water on his face in an attempt to keep his memories at bay. Which he was able to do at least for now however he could not turn off his thoughts," I can't believe they would use this case as a story for all to hear. Although if he were honest with himself, he had to admit that after hearing that dreaded word he had tuned out his brother because he wanted no part of this story hour. In fact, he wondered if his brothers sometimes forgot that these were actual lives they were talking about. He also had to admit that besides the story almost blowing his disguise, it also confirmed to him that his family would be disappointed in him and maybe go as far as to say he disgraced the Reagan name. This may seem like a leap to someone who does not personally know the Reagan's but he knew if Danny told the story to one it was told to all. He also knew that in the past that was what Sunday dinner conversation was all about. Therefore confirming to Jamie that he had made the right choice. For if his family could laugh at and tell stories about a stranger then there was no way they would understand or sympathize with what had happened to him. In fact, he would most likely land up the butt of some joke for the rest of time. As Jamie turned off the water he decided he was right his family could never know the truth and he would work his hardest to make that his reality because he knew he could not take disappointing his family.

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Meanwhile, at the corner booth, once Jamie was out of earshot Joe took the opportunity to talk to his brother, "Danny what do you think is going on."

"I don't know if you think about it he could have just not been cleaning his apartment and it could have come with so many locks."

"True but did you notice that he evaded the question of where he was. Danny come on he only told us how he got a black eye."

"Yeah I caught that to but so far he is acting like Jamie. You and I both now Jamie is not one to talk about himself I say until he gives us something unexplained by his exclamation or what we see that concerns us we let it go."

"Alright." Joe replied as his phone rang.

"Reagan."

"Joe did you find Jamie?" The voice of a worried father asked.

"Yeah dad we found him, it was just a case of bad timing he is fine." After Joe finished speaking he could hear the sigh of relief Frank released over the phone upon learning his youngest was alright.

"So then why hasn't he called."  
"Dad I don't know. To be honest, I haven't seen him with a cell phone. Hold on dad here he is." Joe replied as he handed his phone to Jamie who just arrived back at the table.

"Hello?"  
"Son it is so good to hear your voice. How are you?"  
"Dad I am fine how are you?"  
"I am good but I got to ask why on earth have you not answered your phone or replied to any of the emails we sent you? Jamie you had us worried sick." Frank replied anger evident in his tone of voice.  
"Dad I am sorry I just broke my phone and got really busy I haven't had a chance to get a new one yet. As for the emails I am not sure why but I never got any replies I promise you I will get a new phone first thing tomorrow and also have the schools it department look at the laptop." Jamie replied as he inwardly thought," Please believe this for the truth is so unbelievable you will think I am telling you a story. The truth being, my phone was disconnected and I was given a preprogrammed burner phone with three local numbers and my emails were protected so I can only send messages but all replies were blocked and deleted as soon as anyone hit reply and send in case someone tried to hack my account. Also now that Jamie thought about it he knew the truth would raise too many questions especially in a family of cops making his lifelong secret even harder to hide even if this was barely a fraction of what was going on. With his family he knew they would not stop until they knew everything."

Jamie's inward thoughts were cut off when he heard his father sigh an obvious sign he was relieved or questioning the story. Frank then said, "Jamison in the future please do not wait so long to take care of all of this. I know you are busy, but you still need to keep in touch. Also in the future if you are sending emails and it gets to two without a reply call."  
"Alright and dad I love you."

"Love you to son." Frank replied and then a second later, he heard the dial tone.

The rest of the evening went well after finishing up their meal, Jamie showed his brothers all of his favorite sites all over Boston. As they were headed back to his brothers' hotel he inwardly thought, "I left one thing out but, I couldn't show them the quaint street with the bakery on it. That spot just brings up to many bad memories that I know I would not be able to keep at bay." Needless to say, no one really slept for they were too busy hanging out and catching up. The next day his brothers packed up the car because they had to leave. Before they left though Danny and Joe both while giving there brother a hug goodbye said," It was great to see you but don't make it so long before you come visit alright, and stay in touch or else we will come knock down your door."

Jamie laughed and replied, "I will have a safe trip back." As he inwardly thought," I know that is no joke as much as they tried to make it sound like a joke they will actually come and do it. Oh well it was still great to see them even if they have horrible timing although, a night awake did mean, I will not fall into a coma. It also did nothing to rest my mind and body as the doctor had ordered. So now I have a headache that feels like it will split my head in half. So much for taking it easy last night, oh well guess I will have to start that today." All the while making a mental note to watch his headache as he headed inside to take a nap. Since thankfully today he had no classes and his phone and email would be put back to normal. Before taking a nap he changed out of his jeans and sweatshirt into his pajama pants and t-shirt. He then made sure his phone was on for he knew that his family would not take kindly to his phone still going unanswered at least this way if he missed there call they would get his voice mail and be able to leave a message.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods only my own ideas.

A/N: Hello amazing readers! You guys are awesome, I hope you like this chapter.

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Tonight was the start of possibly the worst or best week of his life in a long time. For today Jamie was going to find out if he got the all clear from his doctor. If he received that news he was going to face one of his now many fears and go home to see his family. However, this appointment was really just a formality since he was already studying until his mind protested. Jamie knew that he was ahead of schedule and in the top of his class. However, he felt like he had to work until he crashed or else he would have a fitful night's sleeps which would result in him tossing and turning all night anyway. He knew that he did not look like a healthy young man with the bags present under his eyes almost becoming a constant part of his life. After a few minutes waiting in the cold bleach perfect white exam room there was a knock on the door and then his doctor entered. After a few routine questions, the doctor listened to his heart, lungs and checked his eyes the doctor spoke," Everything looks good, I just have one more question. Jamison, when was the last time you slept?" After seeing Jamie's look of confusion the doctor sighed and said, "You didn't really think you could fool me did you? I mean come on the way you look I doubt you could fool a friend."

"The last time I had a good night's rest would be almost three months ago. Don't get me wrong, I sleep it just takes forever for me to calm down. Then I don't sleep long before I get woken up by a nightmare but I am sure everything will go back to normal soon."

The doctor just looked at Jamie with a look of concern and sadness in his eyes. Before saying, " Jamie what I would like to do is write you a prescription for a sleeping pill for one night so you get some rest and have you talk to someone."

Jamie inwardly thought," No I can't! Reagan men don't do that we are strong and do not need help dealing with our emotions. Although, it would be nice to finally get some decent sleep." The thought of uninterrupted sleep, triumphed over the idea that he would be breaking the Reagan motto. So he replied," Okay." To this the doctor nodded and wrote out the prescription and gave him the names of two possible psychiatrists he could see then he said, "For the rest of the day I would like for you to take It easy no crazy studying and definitely no driving more than from here to your apartment" After seeing Jamie nod the doctor left the room.

When Jamie arrived back at his apartment he placed a call to the psychiatrist and scheduled an appointment for the following day at twelve o'clock. After he hung up the phone, he walked over to his kitchen prepared his dinner then he did his homework and finally at eight o'clock he decided it was not too early to go to bed. "*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************"

The following morning, Jamie awoke from a surprisingly restful night's sleep. In fact, it had been so long since the last time he had such a great nights sleep, he had forgotten how great it felt to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed. Although he could not quite the voice in his head that said,"You took the cheap way out and caved you should have solved this on your own." After attending his classes Jamie made his way to Doctor Grace Adams office. Once inside and seated he heard the gentle female voice of his doctor say," So Mr. Reagan what brings you here?"  
"That's a long story you probably already know and please call me Jamie."  
"Alright, Jamie it is but I have to tell you I have no idea what you are talking about." The female doctor replied with a genuine confused look on her face.  
"Sorry." Jamie replied as he suddenly found the white carpeting very interesting.  
"It's quite alright. Let's start at the beginning what happened."

"It was almost wow four months ago, I was walking to class talking with a friend when out of nowhere this kid who though he owned the world skated between us and knocked me off balance I couldn't believe what had just happened so I shouted something along the lines of, "Hey watch it." I personally did not think anything of it as I stood up I noticed the kid was glaring at me, he looked like he wanted to fight, but he just stuffed his hands in his pockets. Over the next few days I started to notice odd things happening like he was always around and always tried to run me over with his skateboard."

There was a lull in the conversation so the doctor said," Did you tell anyone?"

"No! I thought it was just some harmless bullying besides it's not like a skateboard could do that much damage. You see in my family we were taught to not think outside of the box unless it was justified. In my opinion, getting knocked off balance by a kid on a skateboard was not enough to make me raise concern. However, when it continued for just over a week I told my friend Spencer as a joke that I was going to feel like a bowling pin if that kid wasn't careful. I thought he would laugh but all he said was, "Jamie this has been going on for way to long I think it's time you tell someone."

"How did hearing that make you feel."  
"Honestly, I thought he was over reacting but I told him I would think about it while I was gone."

"Where did you go?"

"That weekend I was planning on taking a road trip to surprise my family in New York. I come from a fairly large family with two older brothers, an older sister, a sister-in law, a niece and two nephews. You see we are a close group and every weekend we all meet for family dinner. At least that was the plan and for a while it worked, but lately with school I had been busy and could only make it every other weekend so this trip was special." Jamie replied as he started to fidget in his seat.

Seeing this the doctor said, "So is it fair to reason you waited to tell someone because you wanted to tell your family first?"  
"No that is not what I wanted to do. You see doc, my family is a family full of detectives and my father is currently the Commissioner of New York. The last thing I was going to do was go to them. Since I knew they would say," You're making a problem out of nothing its time you toughen up." Anyways it does not matter."

"Why do you say that?" the doctor asked clearly perplexed noticing her patients stare was back on the carpeted floor.

"Because I never went home. After that conversation I told you about I went back to my apartment to pack and discovered my apartment door had been forced open and the place was trashed. I immediately called the police. A squad car arrived in a few minutes. After a few minutes the officers came back outside to where I was waiting and informed me that the apartment was clear and a report was filed."

After about a minute seeing Jamie was not going to continue the doctor said, "Jamie is that why you didn't go home."

"Sort of" Jamie said while wringing his hands stare still fixed on the carpet and he started tapping his feet. "You see the original plan was to stay an extra night and do the drive on Saturday but then the last thing I thought would ever happen happened. As I was heading towards my car I noticed there was a flyer rolled up in the door handle. The flyer had the most cryptic message I have ever seen it said," Soon you will know your place." I was stunned, I grabbed the note and ran to the police station upon arriving I was immediately shown to a detective who took my statement and in so many words informed me that this could all just be a big joke."

"This doesn't.." the doctor tried to speak but was cut off by Jamie.

"What I didn't realize though was the person who broke into my house and left the cryptic message were the same person. Why didn't I figure this out, my family would have been so disappointed in me." Jamie replied as he started to get up and pace around the room.

The doctor in a calm voice replied," Jamie, what you have to remember is none of this is your fault. Also I may not know your family in person but I have a feeling your family is like most and would not be disappointed but instead worried about you."

"You don't understand." Jamie replied with insistence as he continued to pace the room, "You see in my family the only thing worse than breaking the law, is not telling them when something is wrong. Even if it turns out to be nothing. Either way you will still land up the butt of a joke or the subject of a family story that is retold over and over again."

The doctor could see a situation and said, "Jamie."

However, Jamie did not hear her and continued talking, In fact, those were my exact thoughts as I left the police station and saw that my brother Joe was calling so I just ignored the call. I was a few blocks away from my apartment when I heard my phone ringing again instead of my brother Joe however, it was my niece Nikki and I knew she was just calling to say hi and had no agenda but I couldn't answer."

"What do you mean did your phone die?"

Jamie who had finally stopped pacing was now staring out of the window in the doctor's office taking in the view as he said, "Because that's when everything changed. I am sorry I have taken up enough of your time I will get going." As he rushed to grab his coat and keep his emotions in check.  
He was stopped by the doctor as she said," Jamie I don't mind listening."  
"I know and I appreciate it. I am sorry I just have to go."  
"Alright well how about you come back tomorrow at the same time."

"I can't come tomorrow." Seeing the Doctors confused face Jamie said, "I am leaving tomorrow to go home for the weekend."  
"I see well how about Tuesday ?"

"Alright see you then." Jamie replied as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door hoping to make a quick escape. However, he was stopped again by the doctor as she said," Jamie I know this is hard but I want to let you know there is no right or wrong way to act. Also please keep in mind that your family loves you and nothing will ever change that." As the doctor inwardly thought," I do not see him coming back I hope I got through to him and helped him a little bit with the amount I do know."

"****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************"  
After leaving the doctor's office Jamie was not sure why but he had this urge to call his sister. So he picked up the phone and called his sister. She answered on the first ring, "Hello."  
"Hey sis how are you?"  
"Jamie hey I am good it's kind of busy here you would never believe it everyone in New York decided this was the week to contest their tickets."  
"The DA's office must be swamped if they have a brilliant prosecutor like you on the petty crimes."

Erin gave a light chuckle then replied, "We are, but I got a few minutes for my favorite brother. So, how is everything at Harvard?"

"You say that to all of us." Jamie replied with a laugh.

"No I don't"

"Yes you do usually right before you ask for a favor so out with it."

"Well you see I have this case and the book I need is located in the Harvard library. The librarian I spoke with said, for non-alumni it will take up to five days to get the information, so I was wondering if you would do your sister a favor."  
"Ah I see you want me to fax it to you."  
"Yes that would be great or even better would be if you could hand deliver the book before Monday."

"Erin I will see what I can do, just email me the information."

"Alright will do so Jamie what is going on up there at Harvard."

"Not much really since we just talked three days ago, the teachers are still keeping us really busy. So all of my time is going towards school." As he inwardly thought," Yeah school work, nightmares and the occasional flashback fun times. Although are they new, or just repeating ideas like a recording on a loop?"

Jamie's thoughts were cut off by his sister," Jamie I have to go but make sure you have some fun you are only young once."

"Says the workaholic" Jamie inwardly reasons but replies," Alright sis love you have a great day and good luck in court." After hanging up the phone he pushes open the thick oak library doors and finds a large wood table and immediately gets straight to work. After finishing off his homework, he opened up his email to see the message Erin sent with the title and section she needed. After finding the book he went to the front desk to check the book out. However, when it was his turn he was informed that the book was currently on hold and awaiting shipment to the New York district attorney's office. To this Jamie replied," Let me guess the book is for ADA Erin Reagan."

"Yes how did you know?"

"She is the one who asked me to get the book."  
"I see but before we can do anything we will need to speak with her."  
"I understand thank you for your time." Jamie replied as he turned to leave the library so he could call his sister.

"Twice in one day a girl could get used to this."  
"I know, I know I don't call enough. Erin listen, I can't get the book because you called and placed a hold on the only remaining copy only way I can get you that book is if you call them."  
"Alright I will call them." She replied before hanging up. Jamie went back into the library and headed back to the reference desk. A few minutes later the receptionist gave him the book and he headed home with probably one of the thickest books available in the whole library.

When he reached his apartment his exhaustion hit him like a wave so he settled for a quick dinner and then went straight to bed.

"********************************************************************************************************************************************"

The next morning Jamie awoke earlier than he planned but he felt for once he just had to get up and could not fall back asleep. He was even pleased because when he looked in the mirror after his shower all of his bruises had finally faded and the only remaining reminders were the two small scars he had. In fact, he inwardly thought, "Those scars had not hurt in a probably just over three weeks. "Jamie's thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing he answered on the first ring," Hello."

"Hi this is the dean's office calling to inform you that you have been selected to attend a convention in New York."  
"I am honored thank you when is it?"

"It will be on Friday."

"I didn't realize it would be so soon."

"I am sorry about that but we have been trying to get ahold of you for about a week only recently did we realize we copied down the wrong number. The trip is free of charge only thing we ask is that you be at the hotel by ten P.M."

"Alright I can make that work. Just one more question what about my classes?"

"Yes of course we have already spoken with your professors and gotten you excused out of class. We wish you the best of luck." Then the line went dead.

Jamie got packed and ready to leave quicker than he thought although it was aided by the fact that he was already pretty packed for he already planned on a road trip. With the speed he left Boston he arrived in New York City at eleven o'clock. Realizing that his sister would still be in her office. He decided he would surprise her with lunch. After parking the car he entered the building and made it through all of the security in about five minutes. Upon arrival on her floor he asked a worker," Excuse me do you know where I can find Erin Reagan."

"Down the hall third door on the left."  
"Thank you." Jamie replied as he walked away. Upon arriving at the office he could hear muffled voices coming from the office. So he decided he would sit down and wait. As soon as he sat down another assistant came over. "May I help you?"

"Yes I would like to speak with Erin Reagan."

"I see and who are you?"  
"Oh just a delivery boy with a package she needs to sign for personally."

"I will let her know you are here but just so you know it could be a few minutes she is in the middle of a meeting."

"That's alright I can wait." After the assistant returned to her desk she wrote out the message. She then knocked on Erin's office door and when she heard the voice of Erin say," Come in." She entered handed her the note and then left. Once the door was closed Erin let out a sigh. The other occupants of the room looked confused and one said, "Sis what's wrong."

"Nothing."

"Come on that is not nothing."

"Fine it is Jamie."  
"Is he alright?" Danny asked.

"Yeah he is fine at least until I get my hands on him."

"So then what does that note have to do with Jamie?" Joe inquired.

"That's a long story but the short version is, I talked to him yesterday and asked him to pick up a book I needed from the Harvard library since it would take too long without his help. He said he would see what he could do last I heard he had the book. I guess I just got my hopes up when I asked for him to get it to me by Monday I thought he might come deliver it in person but it seems like he just paid a delivery boy."

Danny we might have to go knock some sense into that kid."

"Well sis we should get going unless you want to go get lunch?"  
"Yeah that sounds like a plan." Erin replied with a half-smile. As she called her assistant and said," Please tell the delivery boy he can come back now." A few seconds later there was a knock on the door.

Upon hearing, "Come in" Jamie entered the room. He was a little surprised to see all of his siblings in one place but seeing as they were not looking up he decided to say, "What I come all this way and don't even get eye contact?"  
Erin, Danny and Joe for a second were so surprised it looked like they were frozen in place. However, out of nowhere there was a shriek from Erin, as she ran forward and gave her baby brother the tightest hug possible. This brought Danny and Joe out of their stupor as they ran forward and joined the hug. Jamie was the first to speak," So I take it I surprised you."

"Well yeah, and what is up with the secrecy." Erin asked.

"I just wanted to surprise everyone this Sunday but when you called I had a feeling you already knew I was coming. So I thought I would try to surprise you with lunch but surprising Danny and Joe was just icing on the cake." Jamie replied with a childish grin.

"Well you succeeded who all knows you are in town." Danny asked.

"Family wise no one except you three."  
"So what is it surprise day and why aren't you in class?" Erin asked.

"Yes it is and my classes for today were canceled and tomorrows were moved last minute to New York."

"How about we go get lunch and catch up." Joe interrupted.

"Yeah sounds like a plan the kid has me craving cake."

Lunch was a blast and everything was going so smoothly until Danny asked, "I was wondering if after shift Joe and I could swing by dad's and we could watch the game."

After Jamie finished taking a drink of his soda he said, "Joe, Pops, dad and yourself can but I won't be there."

"Where will you be?" Joe asked clearly confused.

"Before you freak out just listen, my original plan before this school thing came up was to surprise everyone and stay with dad and pops. But as I said a school thing got moved here so as a result I am required to stay with them in a hotel downtown."

"So this is the only time we will see you?" Erin asked sadness evident in her voice.  
"No of course not you will see me it's just I just will be really busy tomorrow while you're at work. Besides like I would come all this way and not make it to Sunday dinner. It's not like I have a death wish." Jamie replied with a smile. At that the discussion was dropped although Jamie could tell his sibling did not like it and the rest of lunch went smoothly. Although he inwardly thought," What is their problem its only one day. A day I am sure they will be at work anyway."

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After lunch, Jamie headed to 1PP for he knew his father would love to see him and if he were honest with himself he knew he could not wait any longer to see his dad. After arriving at 1PP Jamie made his way up to the top floor when he reached Detective Abigail Baker's desk he said," Is the Commissioner busy?"  
Baker was not sure if she was hearing things but she could have sworn she had just heard Jamie Reagan but that was impossible. So she slowly raised her head up so she could see the visitor. Standing there was Jamie Reagan in blue jeans a button up baby blue shirt, black shoes and his hair perfectly in place on his head. She immediately came out from behind her desk pulling Jamie into a hug as she said, "It is so great to see you, I will go see if they are done."  
"I don't want to intrude."  
Abigail nodded her understanding as she opened the door. Once she was in the room she saw that everyone was on their way out and the commissioner was busy. So she quietly stepped over to Franks second in command and whispered in his ear," Please tell the Commissioner someone is insisting on speaking with him when he is done here." Garret was puzzled, but before he could question who it was Baker was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods only my own ideas.

A/N: Hi everyone so sorry this chapter took so long to post. A huge thank you to everyone who has read favorited, followed or reviewed. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. "**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************"

Frank Reagan looked across the room and saw his DCPI Garret staring off into space. Although Frank Reagan knew from past experiences that he was most likely not lost in his own thoughts but instead trying to figure out a way to divert a disaster. Just the thought of a disaster brewing made Frank wish he had never agreed to become the police commissioner. Although that was a fleeting thought and he knew it because he really did love this job and if there were a disaster out there then he would do his best to stop it. With that thought in mind Frank sighed and said," Garret what's wrong?"

This pulled Garret out of his thoughts he looked up to see his boss and friend dressed in a black suit and blue tie he replied," Nothing that I know of."

"Than what's with the face."

"If anything, that is a sign we have been doing this job together for far too long. But honestly I have no clue as to what is going on. All I know is while you were wrapping up goodbyes Detective Baker informed me that someone is insisting on speaking with you when you are finished in here."

"Well I guess there is only one way to find out. Besides whatever the problem is it is best to face it head on."

"Or, sense, whoever it is has no idea how long it will be I say you give me twenty minutes to see if there is anything a reporter could have come across."

"Garret we do not even know it is a reporter. "

"True but come on what are the chances it is someone coming by to say you are doing a great job."

"I see your point. But if something serious happened, Baker would have interrupted the meeting so you have a minute to call someone downstairs to find out if something happened." A minute later Garret hung up his phone and said, "Everything is quite in fact we don't even have any news to report. I guess so far it's a quiet day on the streets." Garret said as he knocked on the wooden conference room table for if he learned anything it was that you do not mess with a good day.

"Alright then let's go see what this is about"

"Fine but I am staying in the room." Garret replied, after he saw Frank nod his head in agreement he picked up the conference room phone and said, "Baker, the commissioner will see them in two minutes.." Then he hung up the phone before she could reply. With a minute to spare Garret and Frank made themselves comfortable around Frank's large oak desk and waited for whoever the visitor was to appear. At exactly two minutes the visitor was escorted by detective Baker into the office. At first, their face was blurred for whoever it was, was wrapping up a hushed conversation with his detective. In fact, the first clue to this person's identity was when whoever it was said, "Thanks for keeping me company." For Frank immediately thought to himself," Well it's not a reporter, I don't think I know of any reporters who would say that." At that moment his guest turned and was facing him head on with a smile on his face. Frank's immediate thought was," That has to be Jamie, but that is impossible it's the end of the school week and Jamie is at Harvard University studying to be a lawyer." Frank's musings are cut short when he heard the man standing before him say, "Hi dad."  
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Those two simple words caused all wonders and concerns Frank Reagan had about his visitor to vanish and also caused him to drop the Commissioner persona and turn into the mushy dad he always swore he would never become. Before he understood what had overcome him he was up walking out from behind his desk and giving Jamie a hug. Frank forgot he was not alone in the room when there was a voice behind them that said as he pat Jamie's shoulder from behind, "Jamie it's great to see you but I am going to get going and give you some time alone." Jamie did his best not to react but he could not help it he did a small jump and sharp intake of breath.

Though as Jamie was starting to turn around to speak to the man hoping beyond hope that no one saw his frightened jump. Jamie heard his father say, "Thanks Garret, come Jamie have a seat." Frank replied as he walked towards the large leather couch on the opposite side of the room. As Jamie inwardly breathed a sigh of relief for no one noticed his reaction. Once seated Frank said, "So Jamie don't get me wrong it's great to see you but how did you manage this? I mean the last time we spoke you were slammed at school."

"Your right I was but I got lucky and my classes were canceled for today and tomorrow. Because I have a conference to attend in town. Besides, it has been too long since I saw everyone."

"True I was starting to think we were going to all just have to come to Massachusetts if we wanted to see you ever again." Frank laughed slightly at his own joke then continued. "So, I will just call pops and have him order some pizzas then I will call the family and have all of them come over I know they cannot wait to see you. Oh and we will even get that famous cheese cake you like from the bakery."

As Frank continued to talk Jamie was lost in a flashback, just the mention of a bakery caused him to remember the delicious sweets smells of the pastry from the corner bakery he was near when he saw his niece Nicki had called. He remembered looking down but then all went black. Jamie's musings were cut short when he heard frank asking, "Jamie? You with me it looks like I lost you there for a second."  
"Yeah dad I am fine, just trying to decide how to break this to you." Jamie replied trying to make his voice sound as normal as possible all the while praying his father did not notice because he was not in the mode for twenty questions especially with the one person on this planet that could read him like an open book.

"Okay how about you just say it." Frank replied as he inwardly prepared himself for he had no idea what surprise his son had but it looked like it was eating him up inside.

However, when Jamie said, "Look dad I know I told you I have a convention in the city and that is true but what I left out is I have to stay in a hotel. So I cannot come and stay with you and pops at least not until Saturday."

"Okay well then how about we do pizza on Saturday at noon?" Frank immediately replied all the while inwardly thinking," Leave it to Jamie to get worked up over something so small as where he spends the night of course I want him to stay with me but if anyone understands commitments it is this family and myself."

"Sounds like a plan I should get going they are expecting me at the hotel in a while and I know how busy you are." Jamie said as he stood up from the large black couch in his father's office he extended his hand and said, "See you on Saturday."

"Really Jamie it is fine if you stay longer." Frank replied as he took his son's hand and pulled him in for another hug. As he inwardly thought,"Please don't leave I have not seen you in far too long."

"Dad I need to go." Jamie replied as he took one last glance back at his father and then left the office closing the door behind him. Later that night when Frank came home from work he told his dad," I was thinking we would have the family over on Saturday afternoon for pizza what do you think?"

"Sounds fun but why? They will all be here on Sunday. Wait a minute is Jamie outside?"

"No Pops he is not but he is in town."

"Oh so where is he when is he going to come over?"  
"He will be here on Saturday."  
"Saturday why not tonight?" Henry inwardly thought as he let the confusion and disappointment show on his face. "Pops he just can't be here."

"Oh that is a bunch of malarkey"

"Pops he has a school thing downtown."  
"Oh so he did not come to visit of his own free will. Even though he vanished off the face of the earth for two whole months!"

"Just stop alright he wants to see everyone life just got in the way. Besides its one day he will be here for the whole weekend."

"Fine."  
"Good, so than I don't have to say I want this to be a good visit."

"Last time I checked Jamie was very aware that this family does not hedge away from anything." Henry replied before walking away and effectively ending the conversation. All the while thinking "To think he thinks I would scare him away intentionally."

"*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************"

Saturday 12:15 P.M.

"Where is he?" Danny stated aloud to the room full of adults as he continued to pace the living room hard wood floors dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"He could be stuck in traffic." Joe replied trying to be the reasonable one however he was inwardly thinking the worst case scenarios. "What if he was seriously hurt in a car accident, what if he was kidnapped, what if he got hurt at the conference. I should call the hotel they would know if Jamie was hurt. Wait I have no clue what hotel they would be at all I know is he was staying in the city but still that leaves hundreds of hotels. Why didn't I get the name of the stupid hotel?"  
Joe's inter thoughts were cut short when he heard his father say, "It's a beautiful day lets go outside, I will be there in a minute." Danny and Joe knew what their dad was going to do but did not feel bad at all for Jamie because this was getting old. Everyone was about half way through a game of horse when all of a sudden a voice said," Can I join?"

The game was dropped and the family ran over to Jamie taking turns embracing him in the tightest hugs possible. Everything was going fine until Sean out of nowhere ran behind Jamie and tried to jump on his back. Jamie was in the middle of a conversation with Nikki when all of a sudden he felt he weight of his nephew on him although some part of his mind knew it was his nephew he could not help but jump. Danny and Joe were nearby and saw Sean going after Jamie they did have to admit the kid looked better but fear consumed them when they heard Jamie let out a scream because Jamie hardly ever screamed. "Hey kid you alright?" Danny asked as Joe and himself ran over and helped Danny's son Sean off of Jamie's back." "Yeah I am fine sorry I worried you." Jamie replied  
"You sure?"

"Yeah he just startled me is all" Jamie replied although the truth was something in that moment changed as he inwardly thought," this has to end. I am scared of my own nephew now it is time I take control. I can no longer be afraid of everything. When I get back to Boston things are going to change to start I will learn how to better defend myself the boxing club will help with that. Finally, from now on the past will stay in the past."

"Alright then let's go eat" Joe replied although he was not totally convinced that his little brother was okay because that scream was anything but a spooked scream."

As the men walked into the house to join the rest of the family Jamie saw Sean sitting on the couch ringing his hands looking sad. So Jamie approached and said, "Hey buddy…" however before he could finish he was cut off by Sean.

"It was all my fault." Sean replied while admiring the floor.  
"Hey listen to me" Jamie replied as he gently lifted up his nephews head and said, "I promise you I am fine you just startled me."  
Jamie was met by silence and a concerned suspicious frown he clearly had inherited from his father so as a result Jamie hopped up off the couch and said, "See." As he proceed to do the funniest moves he could manage. Like he thought in less than a minute Sean was back to being the happy go lucky kid that he was without the sense of how truly evil some people in this world could be. Little did Jamie know but he had an audience as Sean ran off Danny, Joe and Linda were caught peering around the corner. For as settled and in the past as his brothers played it with Jamie, they could not deny the concern they had at Jamie's reaction and figured it would be best to have Linda the family nurse take a look. "Sorry I didn't see you there pizza here?"

"Yeah just going to get the plates out of the kitchen." Linda replied before Danny or Joe could admit the truth. As she inwardly thought," At this moment there are two things I know for sure the first being that Jamie was indeed fine and his little routine to cheer up her son proved that. Finally if Jamie was confronted without reason he would like any Reagan, deny there was anything wrong. Why did Reagan men have to be so stubborn?"

"Oh okay well do you need help?"  
"No we are fine." Linda replied as Danny, Joe and herself walked to the kitchen.

A few seconds later Danny, Joe and Linda all emerged with plates and pizza boxes. What surprised Jamie the most was just how fast his siblings launched into a discussion about their current case. Inwardly he thought," I know they just want to get justice but the way their conversation was going it sounded like the victim was a number on a scorecard." The whole idea sickened Jamie so he just sat there eating his pizza and talking with his niece Nikki. When like always he was pulled into the conversation by Erin. Who said," Jamie…"

Jamie was currently engrossed in a conversation with his niece, who was sitting next to him. So he had no clue what his siblings were arguing about and honestly he could not careless. For he came to be with his family, not to listen to his brothers bring their work home. So he replied," Sorry what were you talking about?"

Frank could see his youngest was not enjoying the dinner conversation so he decided to intervene before tempers blew. "So Jamie how is Boston?"

"It is really beautiful the flowers are starting to come in the birds have returned and most of all thankfully the snow has finally melted. "

"I think everyone feels that way." Danny intervened. Danny's comment officially brought the conversation to a halt once again. With a glare at her husband Linda spoke up," So Jamie, Danny told me you took him and Joe to this diner that was really different but he wouldn't elaborate. How different was it? Did you take them to a vegan restaurant?"

Jamie just smiled and replied, "No if I know anything it's that you take my brothers a place where meat is the main ingredient." "Hey you make it sound like we are carnivorous lions." Joe interrupted. The whole room just broke into laughter. When the laughter quieted down Jamie continued, "So as I was saying, the diner was a fifties themed place that serves the best food in my opinion, in all of Boston. I guess Danny could just not get over the décor. Although I have to say both my brothers were still able to eat." The rest of the dinner conversation continued on a happy tone without a single mention of work and Frank inwardly thought as he sat at the head of the table with a smile on his face, "This is great! I have my family together and for once work was actually allowed to stay at work."

Frank's thoughts however were interrupted when he heard Jamie say," I guess this is the best time as any to tell you I got an internship at a law firm in New York." The whole table was quite until Nikki spoke up and said with a hopeful look in her eyes," That's great so I guess that means we will see more of you?"

"Yeah." Jamie replied as he inwardly thought, "I cannot break her heart and tell her that it is highly likely I will be really busy over the summer and they will see me just as much as they do know or maybe a little bit more." However, as Jamie looked around the table he knew his sister knew the truth even though no words were said he could see it in her eyes.

The rest of lunch went by smoothly and when it finished everyone headed out to the back yard on this beautiful spring day for a game of Basketball.

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After a while of playing the game Jamie grew tired. His family noticed because it was extra quick compared to what he used to do. He tried to hide it with water breaks but he was fooling no one although everyone decided to just stay quiet for even though Jamie was nowhere near his old self he was still out running all of his brothers. As Jamie stopped at the cooler for another bottle of water he thought to himself," This is odd I feel like a fish in a fishbowl but no one is saying anything just watching so I guess maybe no one can tell I am not my old self." A little while later once the game finished Jamie and the rest of the family went back inside for a drink. Jamie went up to his room to change. While he was changing his shirt in his old room he forgot to close the door all the way so he was shocked to see his niece Nikki starring back at him with wide eyes. He immediately grabbed a shirt and threw it over his head then pulled his niece into his room and closed the door. Once the door was closed Nikki said, "Uncle Jamie what happened to you?"

"It's nothing for you to worry about I am fine." Before Nikki could reply Jamie had left the room. So she inwardly thought, "How is that fine he looks hurt. Maybe I should tell someone. Yes I will tell someone." Having made up her mind she headed back downstairs upon arrival down stairs she saw that the whole family was having a great time and decided that she would let it slide for tonight and tell them tomorrow because she did not want to ruin the good mood. The next day Nikki promised herself she was going to say something. But as she really thought about it all of Sunday supper, she realized she knew nothing besides the fact that her uncle had a few scars. So she decided to let it fade however as Jamie was going to get his things Nicki decided to mention her concerns to her grandfather. So she walked up to him and said, "Grandpa, are you sure Uncle Jamie is alright?"

Frank thoughtfully looked down at his granddaughter and said," I was wondering the same thing myself don't worry I will look into it."


	5. Chapter 5

Motivation

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own blue bloods I only own my own ideas.

A/N: Before I go into the story I just have a few things to say. First off I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, followed or reviewed this story all of your support means so much. Finally, it is your lucky day because today you get two chapters! I really hope you like these chapters.

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Frank Reagan had spent weeks looking for information on his youngest son Jamie to explain what had happened to Jamie and to find out if he was alright. However, there was no unusual results coming from the search. He even had Garret watching the new outlets and online sources for information; that was almost two years ago from the first time he vanished. In those years Jamie had graduated from law school, joined the family business and finished his rookie year. Frank was starting to think the whole problem was in his head that Jamie's explanations were the truth and that there was nothing hidden that was until this week. Danny and Joe were out getting a drink together when they ran across a tipsy Jamie who said, "Danny, Joe you don't understand." After their brothers told him they thought he had enough. When they asked him discretely if he remembered what he said his only reply was, "what are you talking about?"

That Sunday like all Sundays family dinner was going well; even though Jamie hated it he sat there and listened quietly to his sisters and brothers arguing about whatever current case they had been working on. Only commenting when he had to. Although, this day was different, Jamie could not just treat this like any of the other multiple arguments when he heard Danny say, "What I just hate are the stalking cases we get called on. I mean they usually figure themselves out….."

This was Jamie's last straw, and before Danny could finish his thoughts Jamie said," You are kidding right?" as he glared across the table at his ignorant brothers.

"Kid do not look at us like that; you have no idea what this job is like till you have experience with the matter we are discussing."  
"Yeah and let's face it you are a rookie and well to be blunt you just don't understand."  
"Oh I don't understand! Let me guess because you think I lived a sheltered life and attended an Ivy League school I did not have any problems?" Jamie said his voice only slightly higher but if you were looking at him like most of the table was while he spoke you knew one wrong move and Jamie's calm demeanor would be replaced by the Reagan wrath. Unfortunately, for the table, Danny was not watching his brother instead he was stuffing his face full of food as he replied while cutting another piece of his roast into bite-sized pieces, "Exactly."

That single word, was the last straw that broke the camel's back and Jamie looked his brother dead in the eyes while saying, "You know what you guys are the ones who have no clue! Excuse me."

However, before Jamie could escape and leave the past in the past. In the process avoiding the cynicism of his family. He was stopped from leaving by Joe's voice saying, "Jamie you know just because you read about the outcome of a case..." However, Jamie had heard enough so he said," You think I am pulling the Harvard card. Newsflash Joe we are not ten."

Frank could see there was something wrong with his youngest son and knew from experience that this was going to get uglier before it got better so he said," Nikki why don't Jack, Sean and yourself go eat in the sun-room." The grand-kids left the room with seconds to spare, because Jamie stood up to leave and before he reached the door he said, "You know nothing just listen to me for once and treat the victim with some respect."

"Of course kid we always do." Joe replied with a confused look on his face.  
Jamie scoffed then replied, "Really? Then how come every week it seems like the only thing you care about is closing cases."

"Where do you get that impression every detective and officer under my command treats victims as they should be and nothing else is tolerated."  
"Then I guess you are as bad as them. I really shouldn't be surprised considering the story I heard."  
"Kid what are you talking about?" Danny replied totally confused.

"Oh come on you know exactly what I am talking about." Jamie shouted totally forgetting all table manners that he had learned. He started again to walk for the exit but this time he was stopped with force as both Danny and Joe blocked the exist and Joe said, "Oh no you don't we are getting to the bottom of this."

Meanwhile, Linda was sitting at the table wondering to herself how come a simple calm Sunday dinner turned into this mess and what story is Jamie talking about? Wait it has to be the one with the dog but that makes no sense that was a cute happy story of course everyone would smile and laugh." Deciding it was time to speak up she said in a clam voice to try to ease the tension in the room because it clearly was at a boiling point, "Jamie are you talking about the story Danny said he told you when they visited Boston?" Jamie did not reply but looked almost relieved that someone understood where he was coming from. However, that relief was short lived when he heard Danny say, "You got to be kidding me the reason you are all worked up is because of one story about a stalker I told you what two years ago? What is going on with you?"

"Nothing is going on with me! I never should have come here." Jamie replied as he walked passed his stunned brothers inwardly he thought," I should have worked like last year or just used up some vacation time."

However, he did not get too far before he felt a pair of hands wrap around him and pull him back. It took everything in him not to scream. As he inwardly told himself, "This is not like before." But he knew something was wrong because he could feel blood trickling down his shirt from his old scar. Once Jamie was back in the dining room he could hear the voice behind him say,"Alright kid no one leaves hear until you tell us what is going on." Danny's tirade for answers was cut short when he heard his wife say, "Danny you're bleeding."

"What no I am not." Danny replied as he quickly looked himself over. But then he realized it was Jamie who was bleed so his said," It's Jamie's." with fear etched into his face.

"What how is that possible? Danny what did you do he's not a suspect you were supposed to convince him to come back not manhandle him."

"I didn't hurt him."  
"Then why is he bleeding?" Erin countered. In all of the confusion, Jamie knew he needed to leave else Linda would insist she look at it. So he snuck out of the house and started his car besides he knew that since he was not in Massachusetts he would have some explaining to do. As Jamie arrived at the hospital the family's argument had died down and everyone was looking around for Jamie who was nowhere in sight. Nikki entered the room and said, "Uncle Jamie left a little bit ago I heard the door close."

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"Why would he, you know what, never mind this day is almost like we are in some other universe." Erin voiced for the first time.

"I agree what is going on with Uncle Jamie it almost sounded like a screaming match in here."

"We don't know" Frank replied with confusion and concern etched on his face. "Right now the important thing is to find him and make sure he is okay."

"He probably went to the hospital." Joe replied hoping he was right.

"Okay but why? He knows I could have looked at it and taken care of it I used to do that all of the time." Linda replied.

"Only reason I can think of is he is hiding something." Danny replied.

"We need to find him." Henry voiced concern for his youngest grandson etched in his face. With that said everyone starting calling everywhere they could think of, after about five minutes they learned that Jamie was in a hospital across town. Everyone wanted to know what was going on so they all piled into the commissioner's car, had the driver hit the lights and sped off to the hospital. Upon arrival they informed the emergency room nurse, they were there to see a patient by the name of Jamison Reagan. The nurse looked confused but said," Have a seat I will let the doctor know you are here. After a few minutes Jamie's doctor emerged and said, "Jamie is fine he just needed a few stitches. He will just need to avoid strenuous exercise until the stitches come out in seven to fourteen days. He told me he is a cop so I gave him the documentation necessary to be placed on desk duty but besides that we are waiting on a test result."

"What test results?"  
"Oh nothing to worry about just some routine blood work."  
Frank did not like that answer but decided not to question it so he said, "Can we see him?"  
"Sure he is in cubicle two."

Jamie's back was to the curtain as he grabbed a shirt from his gym bag not hearing the curtain open he turned partly around only to see the shocked faces of his family taking in his scars. He quickly turned back around put the shirt on and sat down on the gurney knowing that he had a lot of explaining to do and inwardly thinking of all the ways he would be able to hide the truth and avoid the disappointment he would bring his family. Although in the end he had a feeling he would have to tell them the truth. So he said two simple words to his family, "Not here." Everyone seemed enraged and like they had a million questions but thankfully they were too confused to speak. A minute later the doctor came back and informed Jamie his blood work showed his tetanus shot was up to date so he was free to go." Jamie thanked the doctor signed the paperwork and then said," Dad I will meet you back at your place." Jamie could tell he did not like this but after seeing a nod he left knowing he had a few calls to make and most importantly he did not want to get into all of this in a hospital of all places.

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Once in his car, Jamie pulled out his cell phone and when the person on the other end answered he said," Just so you know my old scar opened up I needed to go get stitches."

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah could you just handle the paperwork and tell the judge."

"Will do Jamie but you know this means you have to stay on that insurance for another year."

"About that I want off it's already been two years."  
"I will talk to the judge I am actually outside of his chambers right now I will call you back."

Jamie sat in his car and waited after five minutes his phone rang. He knew it was the Ada so he answered and said, "Well?"

"The judge said he doesn't totally understand considering you were traumatized by one of the richest men and the money is part of his punishment, but said he will agree. However, you will be receiving additional money for the total cost of the insurance plan and quadruple the estimated expenses for the next year since you were supposed to have that under the terms of the original agreement."

"But Stan I do not need the money." Jamie replied as he thought," I know I did not ask for this and it is part of his punishment but still I have more money than I could ever imagine using thanks to the help of my friend Spencer helping me to invest."

"Jamie I know, but that is the condition besides you are the only one I know that complains about receiving money."

"Yeah I know I am an odd duck but Stan please like always I don't want him to be able to find me." Jamie replied with a little frustration at the situation especially since he knew he had no choice.  
"We understand trust us keeping you safe is our number one concern."

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Meanwhile, at the house all of the Reagans were pacing the floor wondering where Jamie was for it did not take this long to drive here and let's face it there was a lot to talk about. Especially with how Jamie was acting and the scars on his chest they saw. Joe was trying to keep his niece and nephews calm and most importantly get them out of the room. Although, he soon learned he had to settle for calm when he heard his niece say, "We are not going anywhere he is our uncle." At that moment there was the noise of a car parking outside. Looking out the curtains Frank could see it was his son Jamie and knew all the focus had to be on him if they were going to get to the bottom of this, and as much as everyone else hated it that meant the kids stayed.

However, everything changed as soon as Jamie arrived the first words out of his mouth were," Waiting outside is one of my best friends and he is going to go take the little ones fishing." Jamie could see his nieces concern and desire to know what was going on but he said in a desperate voice, "Please." That simple word was enough to get her to begrudgingly agree and head outside to spend the day with Spencer. After both Danny, Erin and Linda had all the numbers possible and knew Spencer would take good care of their kids they all headed back inside. Jamie was the first in and for a moment they could not find him but then they heard silverware falling against a plate. Everyone headed towards the dining room and saw Jamie eating Sunday dinner like nothing had happened. Joe was the first to speak, "Jamie we need to talk."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods I only own my own ideas.

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"About what?" Jamie replied as he inwardly thought, "Please just drop this or else you might learn more than you thought possible and feel how you never thought possible."

"Jamison you know what and no we are not dropping it so don't even ask."  
"Fine then let's talk about how you all can just laugh at someone else's pain."

"Are you still talking about that case you heard about in Boston?" Linda asked.

"Yes! You know what I remember form that story there was this young woman who turned to my brothers for help and you guys just dismissed her claim."

"Really that is what this is about Jamie listen yes your brothers can be idiots…" Erin was interrupted by Danny and Joe saying,"Hey wait a minute." However, she continued, "But in this case you have it wrong they investigated and found a black Labrador puppy hiding in the shadows. Joe carried the puppy back while Danny informed the owner that they could not arrest her stalker because it was a stray puppy if I remember right the girl ended up falling in love with the puppy, adopted it and named it Shadow. That is why everyone laughed because it was a cute story. So let's get back to the point at hand what is up with the marks on your chest?"

"Those are nothing I am fine."  
"Well obviously, you passed the police academy physical." Henry replied.

"But still when did you get those marks?" Frank asked feeling like it was better to be more direct if he wanted answers.

Jamie sighed and inwardly thought, "There is no getting out of this even if I leave now they will not let this drop why do I have to be from a family of detectives." after a few seconds he replied, "That happened a while ago it doesn't matter I handled it."  
"Jamie come on how can you say that? Of course, it matters. What happened to you?"  
"It's in the past no need to dredge it up."  
"Obviously it's not. Considering the way you reacted. Before you left to get stitched up." Linda remarked.

"Fine it happened two years ago."  
"Two years ago! How come we never heard of this? You were in law school we would have been notified if you were in the hospital." Frank asked his voice showcasing his shock and anger at the situation.

"Were you in the hospital or just visit the emergency room?" Erin asked; feeling it was best to get everything straightened out.

"I was in the hospital."  
"Wait what? Why didn't you call one of us?" Joe asked clearly shocked and angry with the situation he was just learning about.  
"Because for a bit I couldn't and then I just didn't want to disappoint all of you."  
"What are you talking about nothing you do could ever disappoint us." Frank stated

"Wait how many times did you require hospitalization?" Linda asked seeing as Jamie was not going to continue on his own.

"I was there once well twice if you count the time I left against medical advice."  
"Jamison Reagan why would you do that. You know doctors and nurses have your best intentions at heart." Linda replied Frank was the next to speak, "Better yet why did I not get the bill back then you were on my insurance."  
"Linda I know and dad that is complicated" Jamie replied.

"Well come on Jamie in one word simplify it then we will go from there." Danny replied feeling like he was talking to a hostile witness.  
"Fine Stalker."  
"What?" the detectives at the table replied.

"You heard me correctly Stalker."  
"Wait you had a stalker." Danny asked for clarification because he could not believe what he had heard.  
"Yes well have if you want to be technical."

"And what the state of Massachusetts could not be bothered?" Joe asked clearly annoyed that no one had informed him of this mess or at least handled it.

"No it's not like that."

"Well then how do you still have a stalker and don't say it is complicated start at the beginning." Frank interjected.  
" You know what not until we get one thing straight, I am not one of your witnesses I am your Family could you all just leave the job at the office for once!" Jamie shouted.

Frank looked shocked at his son's outburst but replied," We will try but you have to start filling in some of the blanks."  
"Fine, it all started just over two years ago...I was walking with a friend to class when a jerk came out of nowhere and knocked me over it started to become a game every time I saw him he would knock me off balance however what I didn't know was that besides the times he was knocking me over he was following me. One day my friend Spencer told me he wanted me to tell you."

"Why didn't you?" Joe asked.  
"Because I couldn't" Jamie shouted still clearly feeling like this was an interrogation.  
"When back then or for two years" Danny interjected.

"What happened to this not being an interrogation?" Jamie asked as he got up to leave because this already was something he did not want to do.

Danny's temper got the best of him so he said, "if you want an interrogation we could go down to Joe's and my precinct put you in the box. Besides that's what we should do so you can press charges."

Erin seeing the situation glared at Danny then glanced at her brother seeing the fear of an interrogation with her brothers plastered on his face and considering he was about to run the last five feet to the front door she calmly walked up to him and said," Jamie, No one is going to the police station just tell us what happened we will shut up and listen." As she glance around the room giving everyone a warning glare. As she inwardly thought," we will not go now but latter definitely no one gets away with harming my brother."

Jamie sighed and walked back into the dining room with his sisters hand on his shoulder embracing him in a half hug he did not sit down but started to pace as he continued telling his story, "Okay So after I got back my apartment was broken into and the place was trashed I immediately called the police who came and filled out a report at the time I did not think it was related I postponed my plans to come home and surprise everyone. On the next day on my way out I found a cryptic note rolled up in my door handle that said "Soon you will know your place." I immediately ran to the police station since I was too worked up to drive I was seen by a detective who partially smirked told me it was nothing and I was probably over reacting but when they get a minute they would look into it just in case."

As Jamie was talking, Danny, Joe, Frank and Henry were thinking," I would do the same thing he had nothing."

Jamie continued talking after taking a seat and finishing his glass of wine as he inwardly thought, "Nothing like liquid courage." He then continued," After I left the police station I could not shake the feeling that I had made a big deal out of nothing. I was in no to talk when I noticed both of my brothers called seconds apart so I ignored both of your calls." Jamie said while looking at his two brothers. "When I was a few blocks away by this really great smelling bakery my phone rang again I saw it was Nikki and went to answer the phone however before I could I felt a blinding pain in my back and then all went dark." Jamie had to stop as he could feel the eyes on him. He could not look up so he played with the long cold food on his plate because he saw in his mind the looks of sadness and what he thought was disappointment in his families' eyes. If he looked up he would have seen the looks of shook and sadness that a member of their family was going through this and did not think he could come to one of them.

"So when I woke up, I was laying on a bed in a small room with metal walls. A few seconds after I woke up I realized my hands and legs were restrained to the mattress in soft restraints a second after I realized this the door opened and in walked a man with a ski mask. He said only one sentence and that was, "Soon you will know your place." Then he started a video tape that played a movie that described how you know your place in this world. When the movie stopped, another started, with voices of how parents felt when their kids did not follow their plan of what they wanted. When that one stopped he would come up behind the bed and put a bag over my head while he went around me with strange noises that sounded like they would cause harm. However, he never physically harmed me the only thing he would do would be to sneak around me and sometimes touch my face, back or arms in a hard tight grasp. He would keep me in the dark with that stupid tape running for hours or what felt like hours I had no clue really till after I got away. I had no clue how long I was there but after what felt like a few days I managed to get free and when I opened up the door I saw that it was night and the roads were quite. Having no idea where I was I started to walk towards the busiest road I could find hoping to find someone anyone that could help. I had been walking for a while, when I saw less than a few blocks away a store light across the road. As I was crossing the road a truck out of nowhere struck me head on. The last thing I remembered was a voice saying you better have learned your place or else and remember I will be watching."

Jamie's story was interrupted by a table large sigh and a collective, "Jamie." As inwardly everyone seated at the table thought, "How come just this once he couldn't just be over reacting."

However, Jamie did not hear them for he was entranced almost in a memory so he just continued to talk," After a few seconds I remember a voice saying," if you can hear me an ambulance is on the way. I remember hearing the ambulance in the distance. However, before the ambulance got there I collapsed. Next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital with a scratchy feeling in my throat, an intense pain in my sides. I also remember feeling a tingly feeling in my leg and arm. I tried to remove the scratchy feeling however, I am not sure why but a nurse and doctor showed up out of nowhere and injected something into my iv while saying, "Sir please calm down were trying to help you." Then all I remember was the room going hazy and finally complete darkness. "

Linda could not hold her voice any longer and seeing how the rest of the room had looks of shock on their faces she said," Jamie, how long were you in the hospital?"

Jamie finally realized that he needed to at least meet the eyes of one of his family so he looked straight at Linda and said," I was in the hospital for two weeks."

"Why didn't you call? Better yet how long were you missing and why did no one contact us." Frank asked.

"I couldn't and I am sorry I can't do this I need to go." Everyone was stunned. However, that did not last too long because two seconds after Jamie left the table Joe was on his tale and found him sitting on the back porch. Upon finding Jamie Joe just sat down and pulled his brother in a hug, which he personally needed and knew deep down that his brother needed as well. He was not sure why he was not told or why Jamie hid this and knew with time it would all come out but for now all he could do is be there. After a few minutes Joe spoke and said," Jamie how about we head back inside and get this over with so you never have to mention it again if you don't want to." However, the response he got was different than what he was expecting instead of like the Jamie he knew to just nod and follow his lead Jamie said, "That's not the first time I heard that you detectives like that saying. Honestly Joe all of you think the same way how about you do me a favor and just drop it."  
"I can't do that Jamie and I know everyone in your family won't either it is clear this is eating you up."

"So what is your big plan here, interrogate me find out all of my secrets than you, Danny, Pops and Gramps go play the hero?" Joe was too stunned to reply so he just stared ahead at his brother in silence with a shocked look on his face. However, Jamie did not notice instead he continued speaking and said, "You all are missing the point this already was in the past there is no need for you four to play hero or for Erin to get justice for her baby brother it is handled."

This sentence brought Joe out of his funk as he said, "What do you mean it is handled? You just said earlier that you still had a stalker if this guy is still after you it is not handled Jamie just let us in alright we will stay with you while you file the report and through the trial. "

Jamie knew that the easiest way to get this over with was to just tell his family everything and take the punishment of their disgrace for his actions or lack thereof. So instead of replying audibly he let out a loud sigh then walked back into the house and straight to the family dining room with Joe on his heals as he sat down and ate the salad. After a few seconds no one could wait any longer and Danny was the first to speak, "Kid who did all of that to you?"

"It was a fellow college student that went by the name of Dan Smith." Danny nodded in comprehension as he mentally filled away the name so he could pay the guy a visit and fix the massive mess Massachusetts made at his brother's expense. The next question came from Frank, "How long were you held hostage?"  
"I later found out I was missing for four days" Jamie replied while still eating even though he was not hungry.

"So why didn't you call?" Erin asked as she was not willing to let her brother off of the hook.

"Because as I said I couldn't and so much for this not being an interrogation." Jamie hotly replied.

"What do you mean you were in a hospital for two weeks and you could not pick up the phone?" Danny asked while ignoring his brother's last comment.

"Exactly for the majority of my stay in the hospital I was heavily medicated."  
"Jamie, what was wrong." Linda asked not liking how this was sounding.  
"Apparently the truck did more damage than I thought it turned out the reason why I collapses at the scene was because with the impact of the truck head on I managed to collapse both of my lungs since my body was not getting enough air they had to insert two chest tubes and first they had me on oxygen but apparently my oxygen saturation levels were still to low so they placed me on a ventilator after tests were done it was discovered that I needed surgery to repair my one lungs. Since I had no identification of any sort at the scene I was listed as John Doe. Besides the surgery I needed on my one lung they also had to brace my right shoulder because I dislocated my arm. And while I was unconscious they also had to realign my dislocated hip then besides some minor scrapes and scratches from the impact some that required sutures I was fine."

"How can you say you were fine, that is a long list what were you in the ICU?"  
"Yes I think so, but I was unconscious. Apparently according to my doctor, they were having trouble controlling my oxygen saturation so I was on the ventilator for a week in a dream state. I was told this was done so I wouldn't fight the intubation. When I was finally stable, I was removed from the ventilator and placed on a different floor. When I awoke I was in that room. A short time later, the doctor entered and introduced himself. After making sure I was stable. He asked if I knew my name when I said yes and told him my name he looked relieved. He then informed me that a detective was waiting to speak with me."

"So wait you didn't have amnesia?" Danny asked for that seemed like the only viable explanation as to why Jamie did not call.

"**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************"

Jamie however ignored his brother and continued," Once the detective entered he informed me that I was currently a John Doe since they could not figure out my name with my fingerprints. After talking with him and informing him of who I was he said, "Man am I glad it's you because two detectives have been tearing apart this state to find you apparently a friend reported you missing. I will call them right away. After a while I had given my formal statement and the detectives left to go catch the man that did this. Also they placed me under police protection. As I was about to call you a doctor walked in however this guy did not look like my doctor. The man instead of checking my pulse like all the doctors in the hospital liked to do, he pulled out a match book and lite a match. He placed it in a container of sorts he had brought with him after a few seconds he smoldered the flame then I'm not sure how but he secured the container to my face so the heat did not reach me but the smoke did. He managed to do all of this before I could scream for help. He Left me no choice but to breathe in the smoke. The last thing I remember was the blaring of the heart rate monitor then it all went blank. When I woke up later that day I was back on the non re breathable mask because apparently my body was not doing a good job of oxygenating. Once the tube was removed I was informed by the detectives that as I had thought the suspect knocked out the hospital security guard and was long gone. It was then decided that I needed better protection and since this guy knew where I lived I was to after being released placed in hotel down town until this man was caught. They also thought it was clear that this man likely had my phone calls bugged so as a precaution my phone was disabled and I was given a burner. That could only call three local numbers. For safety measures, it was made so that my emails were encoded. I could only send messages no one could reply. This was made to happen for fear the email would be traced."

"Wait you were in so much danger, you had to be placed under protection. Why didn't you call? We could have helped. Or did you forget we are a family that bleeds blue."  
"At the time I was informed I was placed under protection, moments later I was having trouble breathing and started to cough. Alarms were going off, the doctors rushed in to stabilize me. Which I quickly learned by the haziness I felt that meant being sedated and placed on the ventilator. When I woke up I learned I had been out for three days while my body fought off the worst of the pneumonia. Even when I was awake for the next few days I was on a non-rebreather oxygen mask. So I could not call anyone I was not able to call." Jamie clarified.

"Once the man was caught I was informed that it was thought he would definitely make bail so I would not be safe until he was locked up and this set up would continue until after the trial."

"Okay so why didn't you tell us when it all ended. Better yet when did it all end?"

"It ended the day you came to visit me." Jamie said making eye contact with his two brothers.  
"So that is why your apartment had so many locks your protection detail had them installed as a precaution and all of the dust that was because you hadn't been home in what almost three months."  
"Partly the locks came with the apartment but yes that was why there was some dust."  
"So why didn't you tell your brothers when they came to visit." Frank asked wanting answers no matter how much Jamie said he did not want to be questioned.

Jamie sighed as he inwardly thought this sounds a lot like a police interrogation but knew deep down he was not going to get out of this so he replied, "Because things got complicated."  
"How much more complicated could they get." Danny replied and before Jamie could answer Joe said, "Wait you weren't walking around with a bruise because of a basketball game were you?"

"A bruise why didn't you tell me about that!"

"Dad we thought it was because of a friendly game the exclamation made sense."

"No it wasn't although I did play a basketball game it just was not rough."

"So what you want us to give you credit for burying a lie under fact? Newsflash Jamie you still lied to an officer of the law."  
"No it was a lie to my brothers!"

"Just tell us what happened." Erin said.  
"Erin just stop this is not court you cannot just move me along to get to the good stuff that will help you win a case."  
"Jamie I wasn't trying to do that."

"Fine you know how I was in my pajamas when you came over?" Jamie asked well glancing at Danny and Joe.  
"Yeah we called you on it and you said you had a long week."  
"Well that was true but the whole truth was that while in court for sentencing he broke free and slammed me head first into the floor. The next thing I remember is waking up at the hospital a few hours later and being informed I had stiches and a concussion."

"Wait stitches how did we not see that."  
"You didn't see them because I didn't want you to so I hid them."

"The hat you insisted on wearing. Jamie why didn't you tell us?"  
"I didn't tell you because I was fine after a few hours even though the doctor disagreed I knew I was fine and I was not going to let that upset my surprise visit. "

"Wow Jamie you really do have the Reagan men think there invincible gene. But Jamie you are not invincible and I still do not understand why you did not tell them. " Linda replied.

"It is stupid and doesn't matter. Well this was fun, but I need to go." Jamie said the last part sarcastically for this was anything but fun.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods, I only own my ideas.

A/N: So I know it has been a while since I updated, so sorry about that. Before I get into the story I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favorited this story your feedback means more than words can explain.

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As Jamie started to leave his father's house he could hear the scratching of the dining room chairs against the hard wood floor and the distant voices of his family. However, those voices were drowned out by Jamie's inner thought," This is just a nightmare." However, as Jamie was walking he ran into the end table and realized that this is reality. So he increased his speed as he thought," I just need to get to my car so I can go home and forget this ever happened." Jamie's escape was interrupted by his father who reached the car just before Jamie could turn the car over. Frank knocked on the driver's side window, After Jamie rolled the window down Frank said, "Come back inside."

"Sorry dad but I can't do this right now. Besides, there is nothing to figure out."

Frank could tell that he was not going to win this conversation so he said, "Alright tell you what we will talk latter."  
Jamie knew his father was not going to get out of the road until he heard they would talk so after a sigh he said, "Alright." After Frank was a safe distance away from the car he left. On the drive home Jamie's thoughts wandered, back to his family's reactions. He could not help but feel anger at his family's desire to know everything so they could convict and make this case air tight. Jamie inwardly debated, "Is it so much to ask that my family not behave like law enforcement? Although, that is not totally fair I cannot ask them to stop being who they are. I just over reacted they are just concerned, I know they care and just want to help." Jamie's thoughts continued debating each other until he finally reached his apartment. Once inside, he heard his cellphone sound its low battery warning. As he went into his room to charge his phone, the lure of his bed was all it took for an exhausted Jamie to let the idea of sleep win, as he climbed under the covers still fully dressed in his Jeans and blue t-shirt. As it started to rain outside.

"Dad why is he leaving?" Erin spoke as she rummaged around in her purse looking for her keys as a rain drop fell from the sky..

"He just needs some time."

" Time? He has dealt this alone for two years! I think that is long enough besides we are a family we are supposed to stick together through thick and thin." Erin interrupted as she walked to her car, her brothers in toe. They had been searching for about an hour with no success when they realized their father was right Jamie needed time. Although, that realization did nothing to stifle the families' desire to be together, so everyone spent the night at Frank's.

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The next morning, Linda and Henry prepared breakfast which looked more like a feast. For between the two of them they had prepared, oatmeal, eggs, fruit salad, French toast, pancakes, orange juice and coffee. Over morning breakfast it was decided Frank and his kids would talk to Jamie over lunch. At work Danny and Joe were assigned to catch up on the paperwork they were behind on. Normally this would result in countless verbal complaints from the pair. However, Sergeant Gormley noticed, today they set about the paper work without complaint. He thought about mentioning this but decided it was better to just take the blessing in disguise. At noon Danny and Joe headed over to their father's office. A few minutes after arriving, detective Baker enter the office," Sir Jamie can't come." At this everyone in the room was baffled but Frank replied, "What do you mean? It was not a request." As he set down his spectacles and sat up straighter if that was even possible in his desk chair. To convey he meant business.

"I know sir but he is off."

"Thank you Baker." Frank replied to his assistant as he thought, "How is it no one knew he was off? Does anyone talk to Jamie?"  
After Baker had left the room Danny spoke up, "I'll try his phone." However, before he placed the call he was interrupted by his father, "Did anyone know anything about this?" Seeing the looks of guilt on his children's faces he knew his suspicion was correct. However, he was surprised when Erin said, "Dad when we hang out he hardly ever talks about himself and if we try to talk about his life he will most likely discretely change the subject. "

"Why does he have to be so self-conscious. We still should have figured out something was wrong. No child of mine will be denied their day in court. We need to find him and fix this." A few seconds later Danny called Jamie, the phone rang twice then went to voicemail. Danny left the following message," Hey kid I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch, call me back when you get this." After ending the call Danny said, "I guess we wait?"

"No let's check where he might be and go from there." Frank replied all the while inwardly thinking, "Please let him be okay." The Family dispersed to check everywhere they thought Jamie could be. After an hour everyone headed back to the office assignments forgotten because Jamie was nowhere to be seen. Once they arrived at the office, Frank sighed and said, "I guess we have no choice." As he called Detective Baker when she answered he said," Please file a missing person's report on Jamison Reagan, but for now no press."

"Yes sir." Baker replied as she inwardly thought, "This is likely overkill."

Once the call was done Erin said, "What now?"

Before Frank could reply Garret entered dressed in a black suit with a charcoal grey tie and said," Those words out of a District Attorney's mouth only mean trouble."  
Frank sighed placing his glasses down on his large oak desk before saying, "Jamie's missing."  
"What that's horrible? It will be hard to keep a secret but we should issue a missing person's report."  
Garret was cut off by Danny," Already done."  
"Frank why didn't you say anything this morning? How long has he been missing?"

"I didn't say anything because I didn't know he was missing I just thought he went home to cool off."  
"Okay, I know Sunday dinner can get heated but I always thought they were heated between Danny and Erin. No offense." Garret replied as he quickly glanced back at them.  
"None taken it usually is but not this time because we just learned Jamie has a secret." Erin replied.  
"What he partied in college?" Garret sarcastically replied semi confused because truth was everyone had something they did not want the world to know hidden in their past.  
"If only" Erin replied as she straightened out her black skirt and fixed the hem of her purple blouse.

"Well now I am confused."

"It's complicated." Joe replied after a running his hands through his hair.

"How complicated?"

"Lets just say while he was in college he had some run ins with law enforcement." Danny chimed in.

"What! No, that is impossible, I looked everywhere when your brother was not calling, even before your dad asked and I found nothing not even an arrest record. What happened?"

"Jamie revealed very little." Frank replied with a pause as he inwardly thought, "I am sure there is more." Then he continued, "What we know is he had or possibly still has a stalker and I guess at some point it turned violent. But that is pretty much all we could get out of him before he abruptly left last night." Frank replied. As he inwardly thought "We pushed him too much. What if he never opens up to anyone ever again? I cannot let that happen" Frank thought as he started to pace the office. He was drawn out of his thoughts when he heard Garret say, "What can I do?"

"Can you see what you can find, I am guessing it is a Massachusetts cold case. If you could do that so we can clean all of this up. I think that is the only way we can help."

"Frank are you sure once you read whatever I find there is no going back." Garret replied.

"I am sure we need to solve this. With or without his help, because even if he won't admit it he needs our help."

After Garret left the room, Frank and his children decided to track Jamie's phone. When the search came back with no signal; the Reagan's turned to the database to see what they could find, because their desire to help Jamie meant they needed to learn everything about the situation to fix it. Unfortunately, that meant going through Jamie's life with a fine tooth comb; although, that was halted quickly by the lack of any traceable records in Boston aside from his graduation. Which was odd since Jamie had mentioned filing a police report and a long hospital stay.

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As the Reagan's were pacing around their father's office, Jamie finally rolled over. Feeling a piercing pain in his side he quickly woke up. Upon seeing everything was fine, he got dressed for the day in a pair of jeans and a light blue button-up shirt. Walking into his living room he opened up his curtains expecting the light glow of a sunrise, instead he was blinded by the direct rays of the sun. Realizing he had overslept, Jamie glancing around the kitchen to locate a clock, his gaze finally cleared the black spots out of his vision and landed on the microwave clock. He was stunned to see it was 1:00 pm. Jamie thought to himself, "Leave it to me to sleep away over half of my day off it's a good thing I did not make plans till a little after 2."

In less than ten minutes, Jamie was out of his apartment with his phone in hand and on his way to a local diner to get a quick bite to eat. Once seated he could not help but sense someone was watching him. Upon closer inspection, Jamie noticed that it was mostly his imagination except for the young cop sitting in the corner. Feeling self-conscious, and definitely not wanting to put up with a rookie's idolizing him. Jamie got up and left as discretely as possible. Once across the street Jamie relaxed a little because he was now blended with the masses. So, if he were wrong and someone was following him they wouldn't be able to anymore. As Jamie walked he thought, "Leave it to my family to drag all of this to the surface, now I am paranoid." To be safe though he continued walking and scanning the area until he reached Spencer's hotel. Once he reached Spencer's room Jamie finally breathed a sigh of relief. Spencer could tell something was wrong so he said," Jamie are you alright?"

"Yeah I am fine just paranoid, you ready to go?"

"Yeah lets go." Spencer replied as he headed for the door. After a short walk and a car ride latter they arrived at the docks and boarded Jamie's boat he called voyager. Although, it was not too big and extravagant like the boat Spencer tried to convince Jamie to get it was still a decent size ten person speed boat with a cabin that could comfortably sleep eight but could sleep up to ten. This boat was Jamie's pride and joy for it was perfect for fishing and sailing. Although, Jamie knew he had plenty of money thanks to some bad luck and investing. He knew he had more than he could ever hope to spend even after starting a college fund for his niece, nephews and any future kids he would have. He honestly had no desire to live in a mansion, as for the sports car that he was not going to count out because let's face it who does not want one." Once anchor was lowered, Spencer and Jamie pulled out the fishing gear. Jamie was the first to speak, "So what did you do yesterday with my niece and nephews?"  
"Believe it or not they did not want to come fishing. Nikki insisted we stay close. So we landed at a nearby park for a hike, then your family called so I took them back. How did that go anyway?"  
"Just as I expected." Jamie replied as he tugged on his line to see if he had caught a fish or if it was just his imagination.

"Sorry Jamie I thought they would be supportive."

"Well to be honest they probably would have been, but I had enough with the interrogation so I kind of just said enough and left."

"Jamie, I am sorry it did not work out but come on you had to know they would have questions. Besides you do know you will have to talk to them sooner or later and knowing your family it will be sooner. Yeah, I know but what I think we all need right now is some time to process. Besides Spencer I do not want to undergo another round with detectives I already had to do that once. I will call dad tomorrow."

"Jamie I think you should call him today. Knowing your family they are trying to get a hold of you. Speaking of that, I called your cell to see when you were coming and if some friends could tag along but you didn't answer.

"Yeah sorry my phone was charging, I think it is still off. What friends are we talking about?"

"Oh just two really nice girls I met last time I was in town."

"Okay, so how do you know they are not crazy?"

"Well I guess you don't but in this case I am fairly certain, the one girl is a rookie cop her name is Edit but she goes by Eddie, and the other is a doctor named Jennifer."

"Okay where are they?"

"In the city but I could call them; they are both off today."

"Alright yeah sounds fun, lets head back were not that far out we could go back get some drinks and snacks."

"Only if you are sure."

"I am sure but one condition."

"What is that?"  
"For today I am just a former law student named Jamie."

"Deal" Spencer replied as Jamie raised anchor and headed to the steering wheel once Spencer sat down he headed to shore which was only ten minutes away. After docking the boat Jamie told Spencer to wait on the boat while he went and got some beverages and snacks also taking the time to turn on his phone. When his phone was finally on he was surprised that he had over fifty missed calls, a full voicemail and three messages he listened to all the voicemails the majority were from his family all along the lines of where are you? Were worried please call me back. After he had picked up everything he thought they would need he started making the round of phone calls and text messages. The text messages he knew would be the quickest because they were simple all were from Nikki, Jack and Sean asking if all of them could spend time with their uncle on Saturday."

So he quickly replied, "Of course see you on Saturday." Now came the hard part the phone calls. Jamie decided to start off with the last person to call him and go from there. The first few he called he got the machine so he left a message saying, "Hi returning your call sorry I am busy today hope, you're having a great day. See you on Sunday." As Jamie placed the second call he hoped and prayed that it would also go to voicemail, but then he heard," Hello."

"Hi dad."

"Jamie where are you?"  
"Dad I am fine."  
"Okay glad to hear, but where are you? We really need to talk, how about that lunch."

"Sorry dad I can't. Before we go any further are Danny, Joe and Erin with you." Jamie could tell his father put the phone on speaker because he could hear his brothers and sisters debating about something in Massachusetts two years ago. Then he heard his father say," Jamie why can't we meet we know you are off."  
"What are you spying on me?" Jamie replied becoming agitated.  
"Kid we are just worried." Danny spoke up semi loudly trying to mask the sound of detective Baker as she entered and said, "Sir I double checked, there is no cold case from two years ago..."

"Wait a minute you're digging into my past! Seriously I thought we were family why are you treating this like a case! As for lunch, no sorry your interrogation it will have to wait, I am out of town. "

"Wait Jamie we weren't…" Erin did not get to finish her sentence because the line went dead.

Frank hung up the phone. The first person to speak was Garrett," At least you know he is okay."

"If we could only get him to open up." Joe replied.  
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After ending the call Jamie headed back to the boat upon arrival he saw the two girls were there after introductions were made Jamie said, "So how about a tour before we leave." Eddie replied, "That would be great." After the tour was over Jamie started the boat and headed out onto the water the day was relaxing and full of fun. By the end of the day Jamie could say he had two new friends." The four of them after the boat was docked headed to a local bar for a drink. "************************************************************************************************************************************************************************"

At the bar Jamie noticed while play a game of darts out of the corner of his eye that his brothers were also here. He was in no mood to put up with his siblings so he tried to get the group to go to another bar but it was too late Danny and Joe had spotted Jamie. So he changed tacks and told his group he was going to call it a night. Danny and Joe headed towards him and once they were close enough they said," Jamie, we need to talk."

"What is there to talk about?"

"Kid stop dodging this and let us help we are not going anywhere."

"Come on Jamie just let us in."  
"I already told you a lot so just drop it." Jamie replied as he tried to continue on his escape route.

"Kid come on we want to help."

"There is nothing you can do it's in the past. Do me a favor let this stay buried."

"Kid we can't do that you need to talk to someone."

"Oh and let me guess it needs to be you two because you can solve everything?" Jamie crossly replied. Upon seeing the stunned confusion on his brother's faces he said, "You can't seriously believe that. Wait you do wow news flash I am no longer a kid who needs a hero to save the day."Jamie crossly replied. Joe's mind at those words clicked the mystery that had become his little brother in the past day was partially solved. So Joe said," Jamie there is no cold case is there?" Danny looked puzzled but kept his stare fixed on his brother. Jamie knew that his brothers would not drop the subject so he said, " Your right there is no cold case. So do me a favor and inform the others and drop this." Again he tried to walk away this time making it out of the bar, but Danny and Joe quickly caught up to him. "Jamie you know you can't keep dodging us."

"I know but I already told you a lot of what happened can't that for once be enough."

"Kid it could be if we knew for sure you were alright, but let's face it Jamie you're not the same lately just the mention of all this has you jumping out of your skin."  
"Jamie just let the family help." Joe finished.  
"Why so it can become another story?"

"No kid not at all. We just want to help." Danny replied shocked by his brothers actions.

"Fine I will tell you, just not here." Danny and Joe for a moment were surprised Jamie agreed but recovered quickly," Alright we could head to dad's." Danny replied. As he inwardly thought, "Everyone will want to hear this."

"No not there." Jamie quickly replied. As he thought of how well it went last time. Besides deep down he knew it would be easier if he could just talk to his brothers first. As he inwardly thought, "I know everyone wants to know everything but right now all I want is my brothers to know I will tell everyone else latter." Danny and Joe were surprised at Jamie's rejection, but Joe quickly recovered," Alright we could go to my place."

"Alright but just us." Jamie replied as he inwardly thought," I guess there is no real escaping this they want to know. Heck, all of them want to know."

"Great we can give you a lift if you want." Joe replied, taking the small victory.

"No I am good my car is just over there." Jamie replied as he nodded his head towards a row of cars parked on the street.

"Alright see you in a bit." Danny replied. As he and Joe headed over to their car that was parked around the corner. As they were just about to round the corner out of nowhere a swerving car speed past them.


	8. Chapter 8

Authors note: So I know it has been over a year since I updated this story and I am so sorry I kept you all waiting for an update. For those of you that have added this story to your favorites or follows list thank you. As for all of you that have reviewed another large thank you to all of you as well. I hope this chapter does not disappoint.

Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods. I only own ideas.

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Jamie had just started to cross the road when all of a sudden there was a car. Before he could react Jamie saw the blinding bright headlights and heard loud shouts of, "Jamie!" before his world went black.

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At the sight of the car, both brothers broke into a sprint with the hope they could prevent the inevitable. After reaching the car Danny and Joe heard a terrified voice, "Is he okay?" Looking over their shoulders the two brothers saw the top of Erin's head, as she frantically searched for her cell phone. Quickly surveying the crash site, both brothers knew they would need help getting to their brother and it would unfortunately be a while before they knew if Jamie was alright. However Danny and Joe did not have time to even attempt a rescue, because by some phenomenon the reckless driver escaped. The driver did not get far though with Danny and Joe quickly giving chase. As they were walking back to the accident suspect in hand, Joe found a small opening that allowed him to see Jamie for the first time. Unfortunately the sight didn't ease his mind, his brother was unconscious, bleeding from a head wound and smashed in the car like a sardine. Seconds after Joe saw Jamie, two cop cars, a fire truck and an ambulance came roaring down the road stopping mere feet away. In a matter of minutes the firefighters had rescued an unconscious Jamie from his mangled car, strapped him to a back board and loaded him into the back of a waiting ambulance. The Reagan's were climbing in themselves when the medic said," Meet us at the hospital." As he pushed the siblings out and slammed the doors shut.

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The Reagan siblings to say the least expected someone could ride along with Jamie but instead of arguing, they rushed to the hospital because all that mattered was Jamie was alright. On the way to the hospital, Erin called the family. Upon entering the hospital; Erin, Danny and Joe received a thousand questions from the family. While everyone was waiting for word, Garret came and went after getting an answer on something or other since the commissioner's job was never done. All Joe could think was, "I hope dad told Garret the only thing that matters is my son." Although if he was honest the conversation probably was about Jamie because Garret was a close family friend of his fathers. It felt like hours had passed, with no answers. When in reality it was just over an hour when a doctor finally entered the waiting room.

"Family of Jamison Reagan." When the waiting room stood up the doctor motioned for everyone to sit, "My name is Dr. George, "when Jamie came into the hospital he was unconscious and his breathing was slow. Jamie is still unconscious so we are going to admit him for observation. Now I know you all want to see him and you can, once we have him settled in his room.."

Before the doctor could continue Frank interrupted, "Thank you for all your help." The relief that washed over everyone's face was clear as day. The doctor almost hated to continue but he did, "You are welcome but before I leave I have a few questions."

"Okay?" Frank replied confused the doctor had questions for them.

"Do you know Jamie's recent medical history?"

"Just read the chart." Danny bluntly replied.

"Yes we do have a medical history we pulled when Jamie was admitted but our records need updating to effectively treat Jamie. Based on the physical exam I have a few questions being as Jamie is not awake I was wondering if you could try to answer them."  
"We can try "Linda declared.

"Well for one has Jamie had any previous surgeries?"

"To my knowledge Jamie is healthy. The only surgery he ever had being to remove his tonsils. The only other health condition we know of is he is highly allergic to olives.

The doctor thanked the family for the information and left the waiting room. As the doctor was on his way to his office, his pager released a loud shrill sound requesting his presence in the trauma room.

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Upon arrival at the trauma room the doctor saw Jamie was starting to come to. So he pulled out his pen light and flashed it in Jamie's eyes while he said, "Mr. Reagan I am Dr. George. You were in an accident. Do you know where you are?"

"A hospital."  
"Good and how are you feeling?"

"A bit sore."

"Just a bit?" The doctor replied as he proceeded to complete all the necessary medical tests a few moments later it was clear that Jamie was coherent and for the time being stable although his oxygen had not improved as much as he wanted. Before the doctor could continue the examination Jamie said, "When can I get out of here?"

"Well based on the time you were unconscious and the tests we ran you have a mild concussion. I also do not like how low…" As the doctor was speaking Jamie's thoughts wandered, "Great I'm stuck in this hospital for abit." As his thoughts wandered back he heard the doctor say, "Now don't get me wrong the levels are normal baring on low but they are not so dangerously low we need to take drastic action but it is something we will be watching. Before I let you rest, I noticed your file is out dated the last record we have being from when you were eighteen. Can you tell me is there any medical history we should know?"

"Yes but, It would be easier for me to have the records sent over is there a phone I could use?"

"Yeah here, just press one to make an outside call." The doctor replied as he handed Jamie the phone and left. Jamie just nodded ended his call as his eyes started to close with the phone against his ear. For all he really wanted was sleep, even if it meant sleeping in a hospital bed Jamie hung up the phone and fell asleep.

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Before heading to his office Dr. George stopped at the waiting room. Upon entering the waiting room he could see the fear clear in the Reagan's faces that Jamie had taken a turn for the worse. "Well good news, Jamie is awake and responsive we are moving him to a room. You can see him, once he's settled. Just keep in mind he needs his rest."

"Thank you for everything." Frank replied as he shook the doctor's hand. Moments later Dr. George ran into his nurse who said, "Here." As she handed over a huge stack of papers. "I only asked for the record of my most recent patient." Dr. George inwardly thought.

Thankfully, for the Reagan's the wait to see Jamie was short. Upon arrival at Jamie's room, The Reagan family saw Jamie lying in the hospital bed with faint bruises on his face a nasal cannula and a heart monitor on his finger. As they approached the bed Jamie opened his eyes. Frank was the first one to speak, "Son, how are you feeling?" Frank asked as he leaned in to give Jamie a gentle hug. Jamie was not as quick to reply as everyone in the room had hoped but he eventually did, "I'm fine." Jamie replied between breaths. At Jamie's words the family's concern grew, as he looked paler since they had arrived and was obviously struggling to breath. However before anyone could express their concerns or call a nurse, a loud shrill alarm sounded and the room was a flurry of activity.

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The doctor was just over half way through the file with no large red flags that was until he reached the patients mid-twenties he had to reread the records because none of it fit the persona of his patient. However, as the doctor reread parts of the file his fear for his patient grew. The doctor had just finished reading the concerning sections of medical history over again when he was paged to Jamie's room. Upon arrival the doctor got straight down to business ordering tests and medications.

"*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************"

The Reagan's found themselves standing in Jamie's hospital room waiting again for an update. Finally the doctor and Jamie returned. "Well Jamie's left lung was starting to collapse…."  
"Wait I thought you said he was fine?" Danny voiced.  
"At that time he was and still is as we were able to quickly treat the problem. But, unfortunately, Jamie was susceptible to a collapsed lung and the trauma definitely did not help. The good news is we caught this early. Jamie I will be back to check on you in a bit try and get some rest that is the best thing for you. After a short visit everyone could see Jamie was tiring so they headed to the waiting room for the night. In the morning, Danny woke up to find his father already up and sipping on a cup of coffee so he said, "Dad did you get any sleep?"

"Some, and yourself?"

"Same." Danny replied as he headed for the coffee pot.

Throughout the night Jamie tossed and turned reminding him just how much he hated being in the hospital. If anything was impossible it was sleep. Since it was pretty much guaranteed you would be woken up every two hours by a nurse checking vitals or a noise in the distance. So when he woke up at 7:30 am he decided to just give up on sleep. As he was starting to sit up, there was a knock on the hospital door. Jamie thought this was odd because nurses would just come running in but he replied, "Come in."

The doctor entered, "Jamie how are you feeling this morning?"

"Great when can I leave?"  
"Well, we need to run some tests but I think you should be out of here by tonight or tomorrow at the latest. Although that does not mean you are clear for work. You are going to have to rest for at least a week, but let's not get ahead of ourselves first the tests."

"************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************"

An hour and a half later the Reagan family had finished breakfast and headed up to Jamie's room just as visiting hours had started, only to find the room empty. Confusion started to set in but was quickly resolved when Jamie entered the room in a wheel chair being pushed by a nurse seconds later. Joe was the first one to speak. "Hey kid glad to see you up and about ready to make a run for it Joe joked."

The nurse glared at Joe as she watched the patient walk the few steps to the bed. "The doctor said as long as the tests are clear I can leave."

"That seems too soon." Linda replied letting her medical professional take over. As she glanced at Jamie's vitals only to find them all within normal ranges.

"Not soon enough, for me because I can't wait to get home to my bed. It is horrible sleeping in the hospital. I think I would get more sleep at a rock concert." Jamie replied earning a few chuckles from the family.

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it." Frank replied.

Jamie was about to question what his father meant but there was a knock on the door followed by the doctor entering the room. "Well Jamie, I know how much you want to go home and your test results are good enough to go home. I will have the nurse bring in the paperwork. A page of the paperwork will have a detailed list of what we talked about. As for your injuries you can expect soreness for a few days. I also expect this concussion to take longer to heal than earlier ones, so for the time being no work or driving. Although your lung did cause a problem, it seems to have resolved itself but at the first sign of trouble you must come back immediately. On the last page of the paper work, are the indicator you should come back in case you forgot what to look for any questions?"

"No I think that covers it thanks" Jamie replied. Thankful his family was hung up on the doctor's last sentence to speak.

Alright then I will see you in a week for a follow up.

"See you then." Jamie replied as he slowly got up to go change out of his hospital gown. Jamie did not make it far before he stumbled and the offers of help came flooding in. But Jamie declined every last one because he knew he could do this alone. Once Jamie was in the bathroom Frank said, "Danny, Joe do you think you could take Jamie back to my place? It turns out I have a meeting that cannot be pushed." "Sure." Danny replied.  
"He will need some clothing; Erin, Linda do you think you could take care of that? Erin and Linda nodded there agreement and were about to speak when Jamie said, "I am not staying with you."

"Jamie you're going to need some help until you recover. "Frank replied, as he watched his son slowly make his way to the bed.

"No all I need is a lift home." Jamie stubbornly replied, as he inwardly thought," This is nothing, I have been though worse."  
"Sorry not happening." Frank abruptly replied. Jamie saw no real point in beating the bush. He was an adult he could leave when he wanted. So for now he caved to make his family and more specifically his father happy.

About an hour later Jamie was sitting in a wheel chair with Danny at his side as they waited for Joe to get the car. The wait was deadly silent Jamie could tell Danny wanted to dive in and ask him a thousand and one questions but thankfully he didn't. Once the car parked, Jamie started slowly walked the few steps from the chair to the car.

The drive home was silent and long because for some reason Danny insisted on driving Joe's car under the speed limit for the first time in his life. After a few minutes Danny and Joe glancing into the back seat to find Jamie was sound asleep with his head against the window. So they sped up a bit and finished the trip. When the car parked Jamie shot awake, and were out of the car before any help could be offered. Surprised, Danny and Joe fell into the slow pace one on each side incase Jamie needed help. Upon entering the house, Jamie saw Henry standing in the Foyer with a smile. After giving Jamie a gentle hug. "I made your favorite macaroni and cheese for lunch." Henry stated with a wide smile. Jamie smiled and replied, "Sorry pops I am not hungry I think I am going to go take a nap."

"Alright do you want to sleep on the couch or we could help you up to your room…"  
"Thanks pops but I got it" Jamie replied as he slowly headed up the stairs."  
"Alright if you need anything just holler." Henry replied as he watched his stubborn grandson for a second slowly going up the stairs.

"I will thanks pops." Jamie replied between strained breaths already exhausted from the day's events.

Henry nodded his concern clear on his face, as he watched Jamie until he reached the landing.

A few seconds later Henry had corralled his remaining grandsons into the kitchen for lunch. Once Jamie's door closed henry said, "So you thought driving slow would cause enough tension he would spill his secrets?"

"It was worth a try, when he was a kid it worked." Danny replied.

At that moment Erin, Linda and Frank entered the kitchen. Erin chimed in, "Did he say anything?"

"No not a peep the plan backfired and he fell straight to sleep." Joe chimed in between bits of macaroni.

"I guess we just have to wait for him to wake up." Henry replied with a sigh.

"About that, I was thinking we should do this on his time table or else he may shut down." As Frank was finishing his comment Jamie rolled over out of his bed with a growling stomach ready for some food. So he decided to go back to the kitchen even though he just made it up. Jamie had just reached the stairs near the kitchen when he heard.

"It took him two years to tell us this much. If we follow his time frame the statute of limitations might have passed." Danny chimed in with Erin nodding her head in agreement.

Jamie could not believe what he was hearing. Frank was ready to reply but a sleepy-eyed Jamie with anger on his face spoke from the doorway. "This is not a case you need to solve Danny just drop it."

"Jamie" frank said feeling like he needed to ease the tension but it was too late Jamie had already turned and was walking to the side door. As Jamie exited the house he pushed himself to move faster, completely forgetting his recent hospital stay and doctors' orders not to overdo it. Jamie was about a house over when he felt his body starting to protest, knowing he needed to stop or else land back in the hospital, he sat down and rested on the neighbors grass.

The Reagan's were just a few steps away from Jamie when they saw him partially collapses on the neighbors grass. Danny and Joe started to run in high gear hoping the worse did not happen again closing the short distance in a matter of seconds thankfully when they got there Jamie was awake. Joe was the first one to speak, "Kid you alright?"

"Yeah I just need a minute." Jamie replied.

After a few seconds to his brothers surprise Jamie started to try and walk back to the house stopping every few steps to lean on something. Danny and Joe left no room for arguments as they both grabbed hold and steadied Jamie for the short walk back the rest of the family following. Once Danny and Joe had Jamie settled on the couch and were about to sit down themselves Linda spoke. "Could you go get him some food and water?" Danny and Joe took the hint both giving Jamie a pat on the shoulder as they passed everyone except Frank took the hint and left. Linda had a sneaking suspicion that Frank had gotten the message but wanted to make sure with his own eyes his youngest was alright. Jamie looked like he was ready to protest but after a stern glare from Linda and his father he just sat there and let Linda look him over. At some points he saw her face frown but she said nothing so he didn't either. After a few minutes of silence Frank could not take it anymore and said, "Should we go back to the hospital?"

"I think if he just rests he should be fine." Linda replied.

"Thanks Linda." Jamie replied as he got situated on the couch while Linda walked out of the room.

"Dad I am fine"

"I could not be happier, but we need to talk."  
"Later. "Jamie replied not wanting to dive into this now or really ever but the longer he could put it off the better.

"Alright" Frank turned on the television to kill the silence in the room. A few minutes into the show and Jamie was sound asleep. Frank stayed and watched his son and the show for a few minutes relieved Jamie was here considering the brief insight he had into the past he never knew about. Frank after a few minutes turned off the tv and went into the kitchen. It was clear by everyone's face, they all knew this needed to happen of Jamie's timetable. A few hours later Jamie woke up on the couch. Sitting up he made his way to the kitchen as he started to eat Joe walked in from the backyard to grab a cup of coffee and asked, "Is this seat taken?"

Jamie just nodded his head no. So Joe took a seat and started to sip on his coffee. After a few seconds Jamie spoke, "How come everyone wants to control my life?"

"Kid I know it feels like we are trying to run your life but we're not we just want to make sure you are alright above everything else."

After a sigh Jamie spoke," I know you are right but when I heard Danny earlier some part of me felt like all anyone cared about was the possible pending case and Danny was the only one brave enough to say it."

"Oh Jamie I can't tell you how sorry we all are you heard that especially Danny, but when someone threatens or harms one of us we all jump in for the rescue. But by no stretch does that mean we do not trust your ability to handle a situation we just want to know we are here to help. Besides you dropped such a big secret on us we all went right into protect mode because no one gets away with harming you. I promise we could never think of anything you did as only a pending case to close we are family and just want to help."

Jamie in his heart knew his brother was right but he could not stop himself, "then why every time we get together does it feel like a game of twenty questions?

"Honestly Jamie you are so secretive we have to ask questions if we want to know anything about your life."

"I guess you're right. But I just need you all to drop this I took care of it."

"Alright let's assume for a moment that is true, than why did you hide this for so long? I hope you know if we knew about his when it happened we would have been there in a heartbeat. If I had to guess I would say you hid this because it is not really over and you are scared. Jamie come on you know I am right you still have scars." At Jamie's puzzled look Joe continued, "Yes they more mental than physical at least to my knowledge and yes they were more obvious two years ago. Like that time Sean surprised you and jumped on your back but they are still there the way you snapped at dinner..."  
"Did you ever think I snapped like that because my opinion was different?"  
"Well yes I did. But your opinion is only the start of this. I am not sure what this all is but you need to know we are your family and I like everyone else just wants to help."

"There's that word again."

"What word?" Joe replied as he calmly took a sip of coffee.

"Help, Joe I am curious do you all forget I am an adult and can handle my own problems?"

"Jamie if you really feel this way then I am sorry you are kidding yourself. You have changed come on you completely changed your career and sometimes when your startled you still jump. Jamie I am not trying to make this hard on you but you need to admit you were the victim. I know you do not like asking for help but be honest with yourself and you will realize you need it... I'm sorry you feel like we are just trying to solve a problem but the truth is we are all just worried."

"Not the kind of help you are implying." Jamie replied.

"Now you lost me."

"Never mind it's not important, could you get me a piece of paper and a pen."

Joe was not sure what to think but did as his brother requested unsure if this was Jamie's way of changing the topic or what but figured he had pushed him enough for today. After handing Jamie the piece of paper Joe sat back down and started to reread that morning's sports section. A paragraph in and to Joe's surprise, Jamie handed back the paper. Joe studied the paper for a moment and seeing it was a list of directions Joe replied," Jamie what's this."

" The only way I can prove to all of you this is all handled is to explain everything, seeing as dad won't let me leave here I need help getting the items on that list "

Joe to say the least was pleasantly surprised Jamie was going to let them in, but his words failed him so he just nodded his head in understanding. "Joe I have one additional request, this is all done here and everything discussed never leaves the family. Oh and Joe please do not let Danny trash my apartment." Jamie said while he slowly got up and started to walk out of the kitchen.

At that joe laughed and said" Alright kid I will make sure it is still standing when we leave. "

"Thanks Joe."

"Jamie it no problem but you know we do not have to do this know the only thing that matters is you get better."

"I know but I feel like this is the right time and it's the only way I know to put this to bed. Speaking of bed I think I am going to bed."

"Alright kid, do you need help getting upstairs?" Joe asked as he saw this conversation and the stress of the past few days had really worn the kid out and he looked like he was ready to collapse where he sat. .

Jamie for a moment thought about going it alone but the truth was the thought of climbing the stairs was daunting, "If you don't mind that would be great."

On their way out of the kitchen Joe and Jamie ran into Danny and their father. Jamie simply stated, "I'm going to go to bed."

"Alright son do you need help getting upstairs"

"No I think we got it." Joe replied.

"Alright well let us know if you need anything." Danny and Frank simultaneously replied knowing better than to hover but were glad Jamie was letting at least one of them help him. As much as it hurt it was not one of them. .

Jamie nodded in understanding as he and Joe made their way up the stairs with Joe at his side. When they reached Jamie's old room and Jamie crawled under the covers he fell right to sleep. Before leaving the room, Joe made sure the kids cell phone was on silent but in easy reach if he needed anything before he quietly closed the door and heading back down stairs.

A few minutes had passed since Joe had come back down stairs and was sipping on his coffee while discussing this year's upcoming football season when suddenly Danny's cell phone rang.

"Danny confused who would be calling him when everyone he knew was here and he was off of work. Danny glanced at his phone briefly surprised to see it was Jamie considering the kid just went to sleep. Putting his suspicions aside Danny answered the phone,"Hey kid."

"Hi do you think you could bring me a glass of water and the pill bottle on the counter, I forgot to grab them on my way up."

"Sure be right up." Danny replied. Seconds later Danny arrived at Jaime's room. After knocking on the door Danny entered and handed Jamie the glass of water. Jamie nodded in thanks as he accepted the glass of water. After a sip Danny handed Jamie the medicine. After Jamie took the medicine Danny spoke, "Jamie about earlier…"

"Danny I know where you are going and let me stop you, I know you care it's just in that moment I let my head take control, I know you would do anything to protect me and your statement earlier was the only way you knew how to handle the bit of information I provided. We are fine Danny I promise."

"Well I should let you get some sleep because no offense kid but you look like you need it."

"Thanks Danny."

"No problem kid call if you need anything."

Jamie nodded in understanding as he closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep. As Danny walked into the kitchen, he saw Joe was sitting at the table staring at what looked like a handwritten list. With everyone else in the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"So before Jamie went upstairs we talked long story short Jamie believes he has this handled and knows that we are here to help."

"Joe I am glad you got him to see the light but we all know he is not okay." Frank replied.

"I know dad and I brought that up as well. Although he is not convinced everything is not handled he wrote this out and said once we have all of this he will tell us what happened."

"How is a piece of paper going to do that?" Erin asked.

"Well sis on this paper are a few thing Jamie needs to explain all of this and since he knows dad basically has him on house arrest he requested our help."

Henry had to smirk since he knew it was true Jamie was not getting anywhere until he was well.

"Alright what can we do?" Frank replied.

"Well Jamie already really broke this down to four people before we go any further he requested this not leave the family." After seeing the family nod in understanding Joe continued. "Dad on this list is a police report could you get that?" at franks nod Joe wrote down the number. Frank nodded as he accepted the report number. Unsure if it was a good thing there was a report and if he really wanted to read it. Now Erin could you get the court docket number here is the number" Joe stated as he handed Erin the section of Jamie's paper with the writing on it. Erin did recognize the system but she knew it would take some time. "Linda Jamie has medical records on here could you deal with that?"

"Sure"

Finally Jamie needs some more stuff from his apartment Danny I thought we could do that. We can go tomorrow if that is alright with you.

Why don't we go now?" Danny commented."

"I think Joe is right, it is getting late lets order some dinner and approach this in the morning."


End file.
